I've gone 59 years without using 'Essential Oils'. Which makes me wonder how essential they really are.
I nearly got knocked off my bike by a council salt lorry last night. 'Silly bastard' I muttered through gritted teeth.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She’s beautiful, isn’t she?" I said, "If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate!" He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said, "No, she’s an optician!"
The dog ran off last night, so there I was walking round the park calling his name for 20 minutes but I couldn't find him. My wife said I should look harder. So I shaved my head and got a tattoo. But I still can't find the ****ing dog!
Serie A's No To Racism campaign. No ****ing joke. please log in to view this image please log in to view this image