Brian Lenihan interview

I don't think it's that we don't care but we don't know how to respond. People train a long time to learn how to handle these sort of conversations, it's not an easy thing to do.
Family and friends are often not the best people to deal with these situations. With the best will in the world they will often say the wrong thing or the thing they think the 'sufferer' wants to hear.

 

I do admire your courage in writing this, in a way you have taken the first step.
If you want to pm feel free to, even though I now live in Melbourne i still have contacts ,and a good mate is a psychotherapist,who sees people privately or he would be able to advice re options available.
Take care

 

I hope you get sorted. There’s many lads & ladettes on here who have experience either first hand or with those close to them that have suffered with similar issues to those you describe.

I believe the majority on here are also genuine in their offers of advice, direction & help. Don’t suffer alone, reach out to someone & make the move, if you feel you can. The alternative is far too horrible to imagine. Add my name to those who already have if you feel like you’d like to talk & lighten the load you’re carrying.

We’re one big family on here, spend half the time calling each other ****s & trying to beat each other to the “Uncle Knobhead” of the year award but there’s also a genuine network of support. It really is an uncanny place for what is ultimately strangers on the web.

If you feel like you can’t open up to people on here maybe give these, or other support networks a try.

https://www.heymind.org.uk/how-we-can-help/group-support/blokesunited/

Genuinely hope you get yourself diagnosed & on the road to getting & staying well.

 

I know people keep things bottled up in the hope it will just go away! I am one and could never open up like you have,
I have been on anti depressants for almost 2 years and no one knows, I don't know how I have managed to keep this to myself for this long and wish I could talk to someone properly about it!!

 

Top post, SCB, well said that man.
I feel humbled by TreeHugger's brave, honest post, having the courage to speak out, and supportive replies. Fair play for sharing.

Once again, despite the squabbles and crap that kicks off at times, this thread has seen human nature at its best. People do give a ****.

 

This is the audio link of Brian Lenihan's interview.....unfortunately it seems like he remains in a very fragile state and has become a recluse. Skip to 4 minutes in from the beginning to proper start of the interview. At times I think he is trying to convince himself that he is feeling better than he probably is. Family & friend support are his bedrock. Really hope he can get something decent out of this but at times his descriptions of what has happened and how it just creeps up silently and takes control of you is chillingly frightening.
https://www.secondcaptains.com/2018/10/02/episode-1281-the-players-chair-with-brian-lenihan/

 

You’ve taken a big step sharing this, and I’m glad you have
Hopefully it will have helped you in some small way, and it has already definitely helped some people decide to share problems themselves and others to consider how their behaviour unwittingly affects others.
As others have said I’m more than happy to get a PM from anyone on here who wants a chat, or to just unload the days feelings on an anonymous person.
I do hope you get the help you need, including the adjustments needed for your work (you might be surprised what can be done and still allow you work to your job description)
Take care...and shout out whenever you need to and to whoever you want to .

 

I think most people have already said what I'm about to post, but first off, credit and respect to you for posting about what you're going through. I don't know if it's true, but it sounds right when they say you can't solve an issue if you deny having it, so you're already some steps on the way. It sounds like you've the support of a good lady too.

They (whoever they are) also say that talking about it helps, sometimes if only to let you see that others may feel the same way about some of the things too.

Keep talking, and ask for help if and when you need it. You won't always get it, and you may not like some of the help you do get, but you're not alone, no matter how much it feels like it at times.

 

I think you might have just started talking properly about it, and well done for that
As many others I’m more than happy to get a PM if you want to unload to someone anonymously, and more than happy to discuss things on an open thread if you’d rather
There will be literally no one on here that hasn’t been affected by mental health issues in some way, either themselves, family or friends
Keep talking, it’s good to talk

 

Rob, what Dennis says is good advice. Have a read through the replies on here, as they seem to apply to you too. You don't have to suffer alone or in silence.

 

That’s a courageous post treehugger, if you ever need it you’ll always have my ear.

I’m a self confessed gobshite at work but quite the opposite in social situations, we all have our own natural baselines, those are mine. My three adults kids are all different with their own baselines, I work with such a variation of personalities, different baselines, but always, always take the time to have a chat with one young fella in accounts who is quite obviously very introverted, he normally just sits at his desk with his head down working, I don’t think I’ve once seen him converse with anyone at work, it doesn’t make him any less of a person to me, it just means that his baseline is different, his personality is different, to those of others around him, and because of the personality that he is I will always go out of my way to have a chat.

As I said I’m here if you need me.

 

Really pleased you could share that Treehugger, it must have been hard to write. The most important step often with mental health problems is usually the admission that there is a problem. Only then can you make the changes needed to make your life a positive place again. It sounds as though you are doing the right things. I have some experience in this area and have found that the diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in an adult can be very useful, but incredibly slow to get. Whilst there is no specific treatment (CBT doesn’t tend to help much in this case) you can be helped to understand why you feel the way you do and how your brain works. This means that you and those around you can adapt to this and make your life so much more comfortable. Whilst people with ASD struggle with interpersonal relationships and changing environments they can be brilliant (far better than those without it) at other things like working with fine details, complicated protocols and repetitive routines. This can make you invaluable in the workplace. Even if you do not get the full diagnosis of ASD it will be useful to discuss your difficulties with a sympathetic line manager who should help adapt your work to make you feel comfortable and get the best from you. It sounds as though you have support from a wonderful wife and have much to give, indeed your post has made a number of people think about their colleagues. Stick in there and in time things will get better for you. Best of luck!

 

Thanks for sharing with us Treehugger.
I can relate to your words by what my daughter has and is going through over the last 7 years.
She has just started a animal course at college and after 4 lessons given it up cause she can't cope.
She gave a good job (she hated it though) to do the course.
She struggles to be a people person and is very cutting when talking to me. It kills me it really does.

Anyway, cut to the chase, i would love it if a few on here would like to meet up over a beer and just chat. This would be the cheapest therapy (I'm not poo-pooing real therapy).
Best wishes to all.

 

I admire the size of your balls Treehugger, I hope the positive responses do encourage you to open up to others if able. Again add me to the list who would be happy to receive a pm.
Have you tried Mindfulness? I've described on this forum an issue I experienced a couple of years ago. I couldn't switch off from work, so would wake up in the middle of the night. Insomnia (and probably drinking too much as it was the only way I could actually switch off and get a good nights sleep) just raised anxiety levels. I had 5 or 6 weeks off work. They suggested a Mindfulness course. I was cynical but thought I ought to show willing. Actually I would advise it to anyone now. I find it helps unscramble the brain and reminds me to just slow down. When I can't get work out of my head, it teaches to actually acknowledge the thoughts while at the sme time just steering away. I am much more able to manage work.

Posts around mental health do seem a regular feature on this forum. Great that posters feel comfortable posting these. Someone suggested having a sticky around mental health. Admins what are your thoughts?

 

I hope things improve for you Mr Tree Hugger..

Think you need to have some help and support ( which is obvious ) I am so ignorant of medical stuff so no idea what would help you...Though I am sure others on here will have some advice that I hope will help..
I wish you lots of good times ahead and what I do know is sometimes when you think things wont improve the do big style.

All the best .

 

I understand a lot of what you said here mate. I've had panic disorder for years now. In the early days l actually thought I was going insane and took four weeks off work.

My GP prescribed an anti depressant, but that didn't help in slightest. I was lucky that my employers and importantly my work colleagues were very understanding, because I was worried I might be seen as seen as some sort of weirdo.

I thought I might become agoraphobic and I just couldn't let my life go that way.

I went back to work and just stood there shaking for the first hour, my stomach in knots and my heart pounding, but I stuck at it because I just love my friends and family, really.

I still have the anxiety to this day, but that's ok, them demons can get to ****. I'll take them on, one by one, the ****s them.

I ****ing love life.

This board is ****ing brilliant and that's because of people like you.

Up the Tigers

 

Thank you to everybody who has offered support and advise. It really does mean a lot.

We should have a pinned thread where anybody can go at any time with their problems. As much as there are arguments constantly on here, it does seem that most will be supportive to their fellow City fans/humans when they need it.

Thank you everyone, i'm not often keen on people but you all seem like a bloody good bunch.

 

But we are not people. We are usernames typing our words. Like you though, I agree the written answers to your written post, have been given by a bloody good bunch.

Trust that such people are there in the real world. I wish you well in that quest.

 

You lot are great

 

I do think this is a brilliant idea. It's clear that members (including myself) have felt able to post things about their mental health on this forum which they wouldn't feel so comfortable sharing elsewhere.
To disclose this sort of stuff requires trust that you will be taken seriously. To quote treehugger, 'we are a pretty good bunch'
Admin, we need to do this.