Brixton R - A Family Tribute - BIG BIG THANKS

Hi All (again),

Having seen the various posts, I have been touched by the respect that you have all given and in turn by the respect that he evidently commanded. Mum, Louise (my partner) and I knew his quality. I also now know how widely regarded he was - we're in no doubt now (although mum, who has lived a hard life, worked and been politically active with dad since they were both in their very early 20s, did!!) Dad was 58 years old (born 16.09.54) and by the point many of you were meeting up with him, he looked a shadow of his former self, hence why he particularly took to the friendships of the virtual world and no longer promoted the physical sociability of his earlier glory days.

He'd been raised happily by foster parents until the age of 5, receiving all goodies that a young'un should have. Problems kicked where his birth mother collected him from Taunton, Somerset where he was living it up. He sadly recollected that he saw his happy Somerset life drifting into a distant haze out the back window of a car en route to London. Once there, he ended up in a children's home where he met his sister (he fortunately found a second later in life). Somehow, the two of them were eventually pulled out of the children's home by their Swiss immigrant mother where they formed a home as the three of them in Aldershot Road, Kilburn. He always saw that his mum worked hard to ensure that she held down three jobs to ensure that he and his sister ate well and had what was required. He acknowledged despite his journey, that his mum busted a gut to ensure that he had some of the better things in life... a brand new bike and trips to Switzerland where he had classy suits (tailored by one of his two favourite uncles over there) as not befitting of a run of the mill working class boy that he was. His new life saw him learning the role of an older brother / 'father-figure' at a very early age - trying to support this younger sister on occasions where their mother was absent. One of his biggest regrets was that he treated his younger sister with all of the frustration of a lost child; he owned this and was sorry. Anyway the journey continued seeing him surviving homelessness twice (once led by him leaving home at 16 and again at 20 with my mum in tow). The mark of the man saw the journey punctuated by him playing football for Brent despite the 'pressures' and developing evident natural talents such as his ability to draw, paint and right poetry...some of his art had been used for places he was committed to such as Shelter.

He did a range of jobs ranging from working in butchers to working on the building sites where he found enlightenment. He said he wanted to 'get his head out of his ass, stop looking to the past and wanted to educate himself' - at that stage he left school at 16 with 1 O-Level in Art. At 20, he took himself back to college where he met Pat, my mum. He sorted the education thing although proudly accepting that despite her quiet, reserved but confident approach, she was the better student (a theme that he continued to believe was the case in terms of the life / parenting approach). Throughout college, David, Pat, David's sister and their mother worked together in different capacities at London Wide Radio Taxis. Their journey saw mum who had competed in the All-England National Judo championships, going to the University of London; dad wanted to go as well but the cost of life at the time (with no parental support from either side) forced a move where only one of them would be able to attend. He typically had it his way...mum would go to uni. Despite his dreams and ambitions to be a journalist, he saw that her being a black woman in the late 70s / early 80s, choices would be more available to him than her so he proceeded with two jobs to see this was done! (She tried to repay this but he stubbornly said that the time had passed and he needed to keep going forward).

His work entailed him working within the civil service at what he considered to be a low level. The 'bolshiness' that was a theme for my dad Brix, saw him pinning disciplinary letters for lateness up on the canteen notice board in sheer defiance at stupid rules given that he would stay so late to finish work that he'd be locked in at the Development Commission. This ran parallel to him assisting the foundation of the Anti-Nazi League. His time keeping always drove my mum crazy. This led to him working at Lambeth Council in the Homeless Families Unit and being a committed and skilled shop steward for Lambeth NALGO. His mantra was having been homeless himself, he wanted to house as many homeless people as quickly as possible before they sacked him for whatever reason... His life was never dull, and living with mum on Cowley Estate, in the heart of Brixton, saw the mixed raced couple encountering a host of s**t (forgive my language) from black and white communities respectively. As in everything they did, they gave as good as they got. The age, unlike the apathy of today, saw people with political conscience standing by their beliefs rightly or wrongly! Mum and Dad stood theirs including taking a political stance against the heavy duty policing of the Brixton community during the riots.

My birth came on 16.09.82 (on my dad's 28th birthday, bless him). I would be both his pride and punishment for the 30 years that followed... He left Lambeth Council when I was 2yrs old on the basis that he'd had enough of uncaring bureaucracy and the fact that despite committed efforts, promotion opportunities were only for those who played the right game... that was certainly NEVER my dad!!! He went into the minicab trade as a driver. This was the playground for that man Brix. He loved it - the freedom of the car representing the freedom of spirit - that was him!! The difficulties that he faced in life, combined with his natural hippy-like meandering and self-deprecating approach left him confused. His lack of childhood bonds left him unsure of family commitment and he sadly left home when I was 7yrs of age. He regularly stated that upon reflection he would have liked to have perhaps done things slightly differently as my mum was left 'holding the baby' so to speak. But as with the QPR board, driving was not enough; it didn't satisfy that desire for making things happen. In EVERYTHING he did, he had to leave HIS mark! So as day rolls to night, he went from driving, to controlling; controlling to training; training to managing; managing to eventually later becoming a shareholder in a small Brixton-based private hire operation but this unfortunately didn't work out as planned.

By this time, dad was getting noticeably tired of putting his back into things - he made it clear to me that he fancied taking the easy route and taking life at a slower pace even though I saw that meant no security for him or mum in this tighter society of ours. In 2006, during several phone calls between the two us, I had to have serious talks with my weathered father. I requested that he stand up as he had always done and give it one last shot with me. My plan entailed him moving back with mum (who had been made redundant by then) to our original flat off Brixton Hill (not Cowley Estate as had previously been the case), both minimising the separate costs of living and ensured that they each had support (particularly for mum who has high blood pressure, was a diabetic and was attending the stroke unit at Kings College Hospital) and a watching eye over them whilst I finished my last year or so, of university. Both mum and dad reluctantly agreed to the plan as despite their long journey, mutual love and respect, they had grown used to their independence. Aah - for once they listened to me and followed my instructions (its definitely mad how life spins). Dad, being stuck in a legal deadlock position over shareholdings worked out ways to get out of the Company and focused with me, upon ways of raising our profile. He, supported by me and a number of better-spirited private hire operators (particularly a Company called The Keen Group aka TKG) led a campaign for private hire (minicab) drivers picking up and setting down on red routes. We were successful and its completion led to the printing of the Private Hire Roundel (the blue and white badge positioned on the back and front windows of all licensed private hire vehicles spanning London, again designed by that man Brix).

This culminated in him and owners of TKG (a major private hire operator spanning markets across London) negotiating over him taking a role as (eventually) General Manager. In this capacity, he worked at developing the Company's infrastructure to meet the requirements of an increasingly regulated corporate game. As had been the case throughout, Dad's need for quality, standards and efficiency found him working tirelessly despite instructions from me his son, mum and even the MD - but would he listen? He just carried on regardless (puts a smile on my face that one). This work continued until early Wednesday 15th May '13 when he got his calling. For once, he had no choice; no option out; he couldn't say no; or take the back exit... He was at last as he wished - free as a bird!

It was Dad's request that only mum, Lou and I attend a small ceremony as he wanted a humble send off. I think that given the journey, a donation to Barnardos would be most fitting - would certainly help make another Brix! Please don't worry about making any major efforts re flowers. If anybody's ever doing that first drink for Brix though, then please give me a shout. Roller - would probably be best if I swap numbers with you later to find out! BIG THANK YOU to all for your care, respect and support of MY great man (that you have evidently shared). I extend warmth, gratitude and love to all-you made my dad's life more fun and brought him extra interests and subsequently, time.

Much Love, Deon, Pat & Lou X

 

Thanks very much

Barnardos is a great choice of charity as well
All the best for the future
BrixtonR will always stay on my friends list
Andy

 

Thanks so much for this update. It means a lot to hear about his life, which might seem strange having never met him! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I have set up the JustGiving page below:

http://www.justgiving.com/Not-606-QPR

If anything is not to your liking Brix Jnr, just let me know!

 

You have your Dads talents.
A really great read and what a fantastic journey.
Wish you and your family all the very best.

 

Hi Deon,

Thanks for that mammoth post, your Dad would have been proud of that one. I like to think that I knew him best here, but so much of that was a revelation to me. I can clearly remember him telling me very proudly about the Private Hire Roundel one time when he had insisted on driving me back to Clapham Junction to shorten my journey home after one match, he clearly was determined to make a positive impact on everything he turned his hand to. Parts of his life story I knew, but he was a very private man, he would only have divulged some of that under severe duress. Thank you for your time, it can't have been easy.

We will of course respect his wishes with regards to his service, your suggestion of a donation to Barnados seems perfect.

I sent a text to his mobile today, you can get my number from that if you have access to it. I think I'm also in his contacts list under Roller, several times he accused me of not having my mobile on when we were due to meet, only to discover that he was trying to ring another Simon! If you can't access that there is a private messaging system as part of this forum which you can access by clicking on the notifications option at the very top of the window.

I'm sure we will be toasting him before the first home match of the season, but QPRNUTS and some of the other IrishRs that David was so passionate about may want to come over for the occasion. I'll let you know.

You Dad will forever be in the thoughts of this forum.

Roller

 

What a fantastic, heart warming tribute that is Deon. Your Dad was, and would of been very very proud.( It actually brought more tears to my eyes)

For me personally, a great charity to donate too as my wife's Brother was helped by Barnardos as a baby (in the 60's a white women bringing up mixed race children could be very difficult). As soon as they re send me my pass word i'll be donating straight away.
Take care mate and hope we can organise a drink in memory of your wonderful Dad and that you can attend

Mark/Staines R's

 

Thank you for that.

What an incredible man he was.

He mentioned you in a few posts too and regarded you as best friend as well as son.

You're a credit to a great man.

 

What an amazing story. No doubts he was made of stern stuff. I'll miss him terribly.
We will arrange a meet up at the first home game, god willing. I'm sure Roller will only be too honoured to raise a toast to our friend. Gone but not forgotten.

 

As Matt has already said, Deon, you are a credit to your father. Thank you so much for putting colour on the BrixtonR that many of us knew simply in the black and white written form, although that always proved sufficient to form an image of an intelligent, fair and articulate man. You are clearly your father's son.

We wish you well.

 

Deon, a beautifully written summary of a real man's life. I've had it very easy by comparison, and am reminded to be grateful as a result.

We got chatting at the Crown and Sceptre on Sunday (I was siding with your Mum on a dislike of Florida, especially the architecture....how we got there I have no idea), and your parents, Roller, Nines and the girls and myself left quite late for the match. How I wish we hadn't bothered, stayed in the pub and got to know each other a bit better.

All my very best to you all, and we will meet for the drink soon.

(Raving, thank you for setting up the donation site so quickly - great work mate)

 

.
Beth

 

That was a very moving story about your father deon my best wishes go you & your family, R.I.P brix.

 

Please please please Staines......make sure I can be with you when we drink to BrixR

 

Wonderful post
Thank you

 

When Brixton first told me about the Private Hire Roundel I looked it up on the internet. These may be of interest, the second link containing a picture of David from a few years ago.

http://www.taxiblog.co.uk/?p=719

http://www.privatehirenews.co.uk/magazines/issue38/red_routes.pdf

It wasn't just QPR matters that he campaigned passionately about.

 

What an amazing story to unfold before us Deon. It is easy to see where his skills as a Moderator developed from. In reading it I could see several co-incidences to myself. I also lived in Brixton for 30 years, worked for a local authority (Southwark) and was for over 20 years a Union Steward and Branch Officer. I am now a private hire driver.

It is so annoying for me that I didn't get to meet him as I'm sure we'd have had so much in common to talk about excluding our beloved R's. As others have said, you are such a credit to him and I sincerely wish you, Pat and Lou all the best in this trying time...

 

We would need you there Beth, if it was just Stainsey and myself, we'd be a blubbering mess.

Lets earmark the first home match of the new season, assuming it is a Saturday 3:00 game, but review the options when the fixtures are announced.

 

Would love it (Roller you are so right about the tears).
Im away from 7th Aug back on 20th Aug so can we PLEASE not make it between those dates.

 

No problem mate, we will all agree the date.

 

Once we've agreed on the date, I think that if posters who have never made a pre-match meet up before are able to show up, Brixton will be very pleased. To directly quote from a post he put on my "This World of R's" thread....

The BrixtonR celebration drink will definitely not be restricted to those that had the joy of meeting him.