Off Topic Do you just like it when...........

......Someone in front of you steps off the escalator and immediately stops to get their bearings, giving you nowhere to go.

......Someone arrives at the bus stop that you have been waiting at for 15/20 minutes and steps in front of you as the bus finally arrives to get on.

......You have pressed the buzzer for the bus to stop....then someone else does the same and believe it or not someone else again buzzes.....don't they think they're allowed to get off when you have pressed the button already ?

.....You have been standing at the shop counter waiting to be served.....and the assistant looks at you and says.....do you need serving sir.

......You are driving down the road and someone with a pram is waiting to cross the road (not near a crossing) and they are sacrificing the pram in the road while they are still safely standing on the pavement.

......You are sitting down by yourself in the Mall/Bus/Train and someone comes up to you and says ....is anyone sitting there pointing at the empty seat next to you.

.....Someone parks across your drive when it would have been just as easy for them to park in the vacant kerb areas nearby.

.....At the traffic lights the dozy idiot in front hasn't noticed the lights have changed to green....so you toot them....they eventually pull away and then the light turn red on you.

.....You assess which supermarket queue looks most favourable to join.....you choose one that looks the shortest/quickest and pile your purchases on the conveyor.....you then find the person in front of you is in a bit of a trance.....they haven't got their money/card ready....the assistant asks if they have any coupons etc.....they spend time looking for them.....and then asks if they have a car meter ticket which they spend time looking for as well....and they still haven't started packing their shopping away.....in the meanwhile you have noticed the other queues moving smoothly around you......and you wonder how you will ever get that ten minutes of your life back.....and keep your blood pressure under control.

.....I have just swept my drive.....I then see the Council Road Sweeping lorry arriving in my cul-de-sac (once a month).....he sweeps along the road and does a 180 degree turn in front of my drive (I'm in the far corner of the cul-de-sac).....he of course cannot get into the corners .....so his spinning brushes throw all the rubbish and grit onto my lawn and drive way.

.....The same (poor english speaking) caller phones you from possibly India....telling you that you have problems with you computer and they can put it right for you.....for the third time that day.....what part of no thank you can they not understand.

 

.....You slow down and allow a car to come out in front of you......they immediately signal right....and your stuck behind then for what seems for ever.

.....You drop a pound coin down a grill/drain.....and then find a penny later.

 

No.

 

I can relate to quite a few of them except the driving ones. I have worked out why people on the bus ring the bell in turn. It's because they all have an ear piece in listening to something on their phone thingy, None of them know somebody else has pressed the bell. For notdistant's and lyndhurst's benefit that's the thing that stops the bus.

 

.....When the special offer is something you want.....and it's....buy one get one free......and there's only one left.

.....The up escalator isn't working....but of course the down one is fine.

.....You go to cut the grass....but the petrol container is empty.....and the wife won't be home with the car till late afternoon.

.....The garden bin is due for emptying tomorrow....so you plan to cut the grass today and fill it up.....and it starts to rain.

.....You nip up to the bus stop.....only to find it isn't in use....because there is road works nearby.

.....or the bus stop that you want to get off at has been suspended......and the next stop is a lot further on.... than if you had got off the stop before the suspended one.

.....You plan a day trip to the coast by train at the weekend.....and maintenance work is being done on the line.....and you spend an hour on a coach linking up the journey to your destination.....if only you had checked first and gone on a week day instead.

.....In the charity shop you find a video that you have been patiently looking for.....and they cannot find it at the counter to put it in the box.

 

Do you like in when Argyle win.. well i do but last night i done them for a draw in a treble, with Morecambe and Crawley.. grrrrrrr .. I had a bit back but could have been a lot lot more.. not to worry can't have everything..

 

......you patiently wait for a cyclist to go by from your right....and they turn into the road that you are coming out of....without any indication....totally oblivious to you waiting at the junction for them to go by.

 

.......you settle down on the beach to relax and read and soak up the sun.....then the family from hell turn up and decide to drop anchor ten feet away from you....their kids are obviously running on Duracell batteries.....and share their sand and sea water with you....plus their beach ball......and the only people for fifty feet around relaxing are their parents.

......your in the Cinema and you discover that someone further down your row has a desire to go to the loo every 15 minutes.....and does a good job of re-arranging your toes everytime they go past and return........why don't they choose an end seat by the gangway for goodness sake.

 

You'd have been a star on Grumpy Old Men Plymborn.

 

Failed the audition.

 

It comes to us all eventually notdistant. You will get there sooner than you think.

 

Do you know I'd have thought that I'd been there for years but not only couldn't I think of anything to add but I'm in awe of the sheer number of things you guys have come up with and in many cases, their utter triviality! It takes an expert to be infuriated by the trivial. I thought I was good but I take my hat off to you.

PS Having said that, I'm about to ring my car insurer.

 

If you had nothing else to do but get pee'd off and think of things you could get pee'd off about then youy would find it quite easy.

 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed this weekend.....I'm travelling on Southern Rail....no other Rail Company goes to to my destination.

One glimmer of hope they're talking of resuming strikes in early September.....so the Bank Holiday weekend might be ok.

If it ain't I'll soon let you know with a .......'Do you just like it when'..... comment.

 

Do you just like it when........one comment I do not like comes from the States......when you finish a transaction in a shop etc, etc is.....

'Have a nice day'.....so meaningless and glibly said.....how the hell do they know your situation......you might be on your way to the local Funeral Parlour to arrange your wifes/sons/daughters/etc funeral.......'have a nice day'....pardon.

You might of just had an accident and written your car off.....'have a nice day'....pardon.

You might be going through a messy divorce or your house has been burglared.....'have a nice day'....pardon.

You might of just been made redundant or sacked.....'have a nice day'.....pardon.

You might be bankrupt and losing your house.....'have a nice day'.....pardon.

.....and there are other sayings that get the hair on the back of my neck standing up....most from across the pond .......but that's enough of my problems.....NO I've never been to the USA and I'm not planning to either.

Just imagine the following having been told to 'have a nice day'.

Charles 1 on the scaffold.
Nelson at Trafalgar.
Hitler on his last day in his bunker.
Jews in Nazi Germany.
Kennedy on his last ride in Dallas.

There are many more....but you get the gist of my argument...I would think by now.