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Football jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Dec 3, 2012.

  1. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    So wrong, its funny <laugh>
     
    #21
  2. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Reminds me of a story from a Scottish music festival. Bono had the crowd silent as he slowly clapped his hands, and said 'every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies', to which one wag shouted out over the crowd 'then stop fcuking clapping them then !!!!

    Again wrong, but funny! Probably got the charity more publicity because of it.
     
    #22
  3. davy

    davy Well-Known Member

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    New manager of Chelsea is Abu Quatada as Abramavich wanted someone who knew about staying in Europe.
     
    #23
  4. BoggersMOT

    BoggersMOT Well-Known Member

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    Sad day. I was out drinking with a life long Leeds fan last night. Hates that lot from across the Pennines. So imagine my surprise when he turns up all in red & singing the Cantona chorus & other songs made infamous by the Stretford end.

    What's up with you, I said?
    I'm not well says he.
    I can see that, says I.
    No, says he, I'm not long for this world says he.
    Oh says I. But why all in red & singing inappropriate songs?
    Better one of them go than one of us!!!!!
     
    #24
  5. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Really good thread, some great jokes there.
     
    #25
  6. The-Don

    The-Don Well-Known Member

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    :)
     

    Attached Files:

    #26
  7. Exodus Geohaghon

    Exodus Geohaghon Active Member

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    Child tells a social worker: "I don't want to live with my mum and dad any more, since they beat me".

    Social worker asks the child who he does want to live with: "The Bradford City team, since they don't beat anyone".
    _________________________________________________________________________________________

    A man is found drowned in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, women's underwear, fishnet stockings and a sex toy rammed up his rear end. Police removed his Chelsea shirt to save his family any embarrassment.

    (C) Live at the Apollo!
     
    #27
  8. Infidel

    Infidel Well-Known Member

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    Kissa <laugh> <laugh> <laugh> classic
     
    #28
  9. BoggersMOT

    BoggersMOT Well-Known Member

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    YWBK, naughty!!!

    Exodus, excellant stuff!!
     
    #29
  10. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    Hull City is like an old bra - no cups and little support.
     
    #30

  11. Proud Tiger

    Proud Tiger Active Member

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    I didn't think you cared about us!
     
    #31
  12. Exodus Geohaghon

    Exodus Geohaghon Active Member

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    <doh>

    Well done you ****ing genius. :(
     
    #32
  13. BoggersMOT

    BoggersMOT Well-Known Member

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    Child tells a social worker: "I don't want to live with my mum and dad any more, since they beat me".

    Social worker asks the child who he does want to live with: "The Bradford City team, since they don't beat anyone".

    That joke still holds true as Arsenal don't count as anyone anymore. Odds on Wenger leaving or being sacked before the end of the transfer window?
     
    #33
  14. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    He'd fit in well in Leeds (can you imagine it? <laugh> ), now that MON has won a game he will no doubt be unavauilable for a few more games
     
    #34
  15. Proud Tiger

    Proud Tiger Active Member

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    Very good joke here!
     
    #35
  16. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    <laugh>
     
    #36
  17. The-Don

    The-Don Well-Known Member

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    A Manchester United fan was caught throwing coins at Sunderland players yesterday. His Wife was furious because it broke their new 46" TV :)
     
    #37
  18. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    <rofl> Brilliant
     
    #38
  19. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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  20. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    Agree, Rio is a joke !!!
     
    #40

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