1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Getting the sack

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by The Ginger Marks, May 24, 2018.

  1. The Ginger Marks

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    40,611
    Likes Received:
    16,228
    I'm sure most of us in our working lives have got the sack for some reason or other.

    I got the sack from my first job in Tesco's for getting my knob stuck in the bacon slicer. Needless to say she got the sack too.

    So what happened with you gays?

    Leslie got fired for making too many withdrawals from the sperm bank he worked in.

    Meth was fired for taking a tea break because the cost of retraining to too high.

    Piskie got the sack for giving up his seat to a blind person, well he was the bus driver!

    NSIS got the sack from the city for losing interest.

    What's your story?
     
    #1
  2. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    61,442
    Likes Received:
    55,692
    I battered somebody for smoking outside the front doors.
     
    #2
    brb, Deleted....... and luvgonzo like this.
  3. Blueman

    Blueman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    18,371
    Likes Received:
    9,828
    I battered someone because I had to sit outside.
     
    #3
    brb likes this.
  4. The Ginger Marks

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    40,611
    Likes Received:
    16,228
    I battered two fish fillets yesterday.
     
    #4
    brb and Blueman like this.
  5. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    15,537
    Likes Received:
    3,007
    I bought a sack of basmati rice once. 45kilos
     
    #5
  6. The Ginger Marks

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    40,611
    Likes Received:
    16,228
    Now that is one **** off sized Biriyani. <yikes>
     
    #6
    thefanwithnoname likes this.
  7. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    15,537
    Likes Received:
    3,007
    <laugh>

    An asian grocery store opened and had a special offer on. Someone bought some and tried it and it was great stuff so we got some. Lasted ages

    Was in a proper sack too. None of the plastic looking stuff you get your Tilda in
     
    #7
  8. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2018
    Messages:
    30,943
    Likes Received:
    39,764
    Every time I've been sacked it's been for aggression and actual violence. Even the army dishonourably discharged me for sticking a knife in someones throat.

    The authorities should have stepped in and made me unfit for work a long time ago.
     
    #8
  9. PleaseNotPoll

    PleaseNotPoll Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    92,543
    Likes Received:
    52,193
    In someone's throat? <yikes>
     
    #9
  10. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2018
    Messages:
    30,943
    Likes Received:
    39,764
    I was being bullied by 3 lads from Fiji, they were all big brick ****houses. It's not the sort of environment where you can do anything but defend yourself, so when they came calling the next night I was ready for them. It didn't plunge right in, didn't need too. I just wanted them to **** off. It did break the skin, though.
     
    #10
    luvgonzo and PleaseNotPoll like this.

  11. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    102,250
    Likes Received:
    60,479
    Nothing as bad as that but yeah I learned to stick up for myself pretty quickly after joining up.
     
    #11
  12. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    102,250
    Likes Received:
    60,479
    Never been sacked. Touch wood. Probably shouldn't touch wood on the train platform though. :emoticon-0138-think
     
    #12
    Libby and gooner4ever like this.
  13. Lost two jobs when I was much younger but interesting twists. First one - bank didn't keep me on after probation and the manager responsible died of a heart attack three weeks later. Second one I was working for a large British company that saw half its staff walk put on strike a month after I arrived. They all refused to train a scab when the strike ended so my boss fired me for not being up to it. Her husband left her two weeks after.

    In November I'll have done 30 years in my current job!
     
    #13
    luvgonzo likes this.
  14. Bwood_Ranger

    Bwood_Ranger 2023 Funniest Poster

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    57,241
    Likes Received:
    45,160
    I liked that Peter Kay routine too.
     
    #14
  15. Stan

    Stan Stalker

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    36,838
    Likes Received:
    24,157
    I was made redundant many years back. I loved it. 3 months notice “working” from home (I refurbed the house we’d just bought) and a nice pay off plus share options. ****ing mugs! <laugh>
     
    #15
    Zanjinho likes this.
  16. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2014
    Messages:
    45,487
    Likes Received:
    27,892
    Never been sacked but I have sacked the Mrs a few times ;)
     
    #16
  17. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2014
    Messages:
    45,487
    Likes Received:
    27,892
    At the end of February, I competed 16yrs in my current job. Only other job I had was part time whilst signing-on (legitimately) after leaving school, did that for about 8-10mths.
     
    #17
    Deleted....... likes this.
  18. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    62,840
    Likes Received:
    33,315
    Been made redundant twice ... last summer same week I was told the stent operation couldn't proceed as they could see I needed a multiple bypass ... strangely enough the redundancy no longer seemed that important ... all about perspective ... all things being equal you can get another job ...
     
    #18
    Deleted....... and Archers Road like this.
  19. Stan

    Stan Stalker

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    36,838
    Likes Received:
    24,157
    I don’t think companies are quite as generous as they used to be. We both got pay offs that I don’t think would be handed out now ie well above statutory. Many years ago I was asked to sign off a redundancy payment to a senior manager who had worked for the company for 16 years. £248k.
     
    #19
  20. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    93,664
    Likes Received:
    43,720
    Been sacked loads of times. Perils off been a gobby little ****
     
    #20
    Deleted....... likes this.

Share This Page