Help Hoop Leif - please read

Hoop Leif has asked me to post this for him. Myself and Uber have been chatting to him through PMs whilst he has been off the forum, and he's been going through a pretty rough time, even prior to COVID.

This transcends any petty squabbling we have on this board, and puts life into perspective He needs all our support at this difficult time for him and his family, and I'm sure he'd appreciate any messages you wish to send him....

This is what he's asked me to post....

Hi guys. Hope you are well.

I just had to send this out to all my closest friends and family. I felt it had to be done.

-

i woke up at 11am on saturday after apparently spending most of thursday and part of friday on a ventilator in the icu fighting for my life.

I've been going through some **** for a while now, anxiety, stress, depression..... All caused pretty much by my own stupidity so i dont expect too much sympathy. I just feel that i need to tell my closest family and friends the truth.

I have been suffering silently with anxiety, stress and acute depression for almost 2 years, some of it due to my never having gotten over the losses of people that i cared deeply for, resulting in horrific nightmares, but over the last 5-6 months it has all worsened due to an escalation in my gambling habits.

This started as a way to add a little cash to my savings but slowly escalated as i lost money.

I somehow fooled myself into thinking it would all be ok and that i could turn things around, all the time keeping it a secret from the people i love.

This eventually led to me being so depressed, thinking i had no-one to turn to for help, that in february i tried to take my own life twice in one weekend.

This resulted in my being sent to the Calloden psychiatric hospital in coventry for a month and then on to oakwood day hospital afterwards.

This settled me for a while but didnt uncover/make me realise the roots of my problems.

Anyway, after several weeks of lockdown i hit bottom again, totally deperate and feeling helpless which resulted in me taking a large overdose a few days ago, the after-effects of which i am still recovering.

The truth of my deepset stress and depression is now out in the open, especially to my closest, including Emma who has been through so much stress and worry.

She is trying to stick by me and help, and i am going to try to fight my mental deficiencies as best i can so i can be with and look after my family.

I cant believe i ever tried to leave them, but i was desperate beyond belief and my brain was completely frazzled, not thinking right at all. I was/am all over the place.

I used to be pretty smart with good common sense, i need to get back to being that person for my sake and my families sake.

We are in dire straits, close to being homeless due to my wastage and my wifes debts, but are trying to come up with a plan on moving forward.

I want to apologise for any worry, stress or painful emotions that my stupidity may have caused you and also thank you for any help you have given us, especially to Emma and Noah.

Anyway, thank you for listening. I hope you always remember the old me and get to see him again as soon as possible, rather than the one in this text.

Love you all

Lee

 

That’s sad to read. As much as we argue over relatively trivial things on here, people always rally round with support when people need it and open up. Anyway, hope he’s getting better should he read this.

 

Crikey...…..

Puts a greater perspective on so many things...…..Hoop Leif hope you can get yours and your family's life back on track......

I'm sure we'll all be thinking of you at this time.....

Stay strong.

 

Very best wishes to you and your family, Hoop Lief. Depression and anxiety are so common in our society now. I really wonder what we're doing wrong. Hope you and your wife get the best advice and come back strongly.

 

Best wishes Hoop Lief. I can only speak from a personal view, but I have been to some dark places within my 42 years. Some I still visit on a daily basis. There is no rule book for grief but if you have the support then grasp it with both hands mate. Best wishes.

 

Hoop Leif.....I hope you read this mate.
I truly can relate to what you are going through. Gambling is an addiction and however much someone tells you to just stop, it really ain’t as simple as that...there is always something that tries to lure you in...a good price....an advert.....a definite winner. I’ve been there, thought I’d make fortunes but lost over £40k.....
My advice (you’ve probably heard this before) but self exclude from the websites and get yourself banned from the shops. I’ve been self excluded for nearly a year now and I can honestly say I’m not missing the buzz as much as I thought I would....it’ll always be there but hoping each day the lure of it gets weaker.
With regards to taking your own life.......get help from the professionals, (hopefully you are already) there is always someone around to talk to and always someone willing to help.
DM me if you wanna chat and I’ll give you my number, no pressure.
Take care brother, stay strong

 

So sorry to hear this, sadly, it is so prevalent at this time and a difficult spiral to escape. The fact you have opened up about it is a bold and forward step. I have had experience of this in my family and there is help out there and, as you can see from the responses on here, others willing to give you a sounding board. You should never feel so low there is no one to turn to, I hope you come through God willing...

 

Hoop Leif, my heart goes out to you and I hope opening up has helped you somewhat. I do so hope you will read what everyone on here is saying and how everyone of them is offering you love and support.

Talk to the people who know how to help you both with your anxiety and depression but also with your financial worries. There are people who can offer you help, and by taking small but positive steps forward you can really move forward and rebuild your life and your family relationships. Hang on in there and try and move forward I do hope that you can overcome your demons. My thoughts are with you and your nearest and dearest.

 

Leif, hope you find happiness again. Best wishes

 

Hoop Leif, I understand the pain you felt losing people close to you,I've been there myself and visited a dark place,the love of my Children and support of my wife was not enough to get me back on track,but talking to a stranger someone I didn't know was a massive help in getting me to a better place,hope you get the support you need and stay strong mate

 

However infuriating this board can be at times, something comes along to reboot confidence in the basic soundness of people.

Keep talking Leif, you are stronger than you think and people care about you.

 

Massive respect for being open about this, and for wanting the board to know. Good job Steels and Uber for keeping messages going. As others have said, really hope you are put in touch with the right people, and they help you process what you are going through so you can come out the other side. Thoughts with you and all your family.

 

Staines, this is so sad. I know family and friends who have been in this position. Can we do something to help on the QT, maybe sending some flowers to Hoop Leif partner and a card giving our support. I don't mind sorting it out.

 

Dunno if that was meant as a DM mate

 

I hope you find a way through..I struggled with Alcohol myself a few years ago so know how addictions can be devastating. I also reached out on here and was so helpful. It sounds like you have some great family support as well. It gets better, trust me...

 

My thoughts are with you and your close ones Hoop Leif, I hope you find a way out of this nightmare

 

Hoop - I hope that you can see a light at the end of the dark tunnel. My heart goes out to you and your family. You have got friends on here - some you have met and some you have not, but we are all friends (even if we do get annoyed with one another from time to time), and I am glad that Steels and Uber have been keeping in touch.
Keep the faith. Vent on here if you need to and we will understand. Collectively we will do what we can to keep you on the right road ahead
Stay safe

 

All the best Hoop. There is some great advice on the internet regarding getting rid of debt etc. www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk is the best.

 

I'm currently taking a break from this place, but was scanning through and saw this.
All the very best to you Lee.
Opening up is hopefully setting you on the right track mate. Keep talking.
Kind regards.
Col.

 

Good luck to you and your family Lee! Hope with them and focus on the good things in life however small, things will get better again.