all the big container ships are having trouble getting unloaded here small docks no waters too shallow
" Just been reading about an Australian ex Leeds Utd player who suffered throughout his career with a foot wart " " You mean verruca " " No, it was Harry Kewell "
"Our local vicar gave an amazing sermon last Sunday from that box-thingy he stands in" "Pulpit?" "Well, you weren't there!"
"My little kid really enjoys the play areas in those Charlie Chalk pubs" "Ball pit?" "OK, OK, he gets bored after five minutes!"
"I was listening to that Laura bird singing 'Gloria' whilst eating breakfast this morning..." "Brannigan?" "Nope, Sugar Puffs for a change."
Was standing behind Harry Redknapp in Boots this morning and he asked for some shampoo. The girl said " Pantene?" Old Harry replied " fack me, that's cheap I'll have two "
" so you came back pissed , pulled something out of the garden pond and shagged it " " Amphibian " " I newt, you lying bastard "
"I was given a pair of football boots by a former German International...." "Ballack's?" "No, from his team mate" "Kuntz" "Harsh, but fair"