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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8221
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just spent £300 on a Limo and discovered the fee doesnt include a driver.

    I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
     
    #8222
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8223
    kiwiqpr, Jan 13, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8224
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8225
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8226
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'

    Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
    The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
    If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

    Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close.
    The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'

    A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
    The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

    Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3.
    You were close, but no free sex this time.'

    As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy,
    'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really
    give away free sex at all.'

    Paddy replied, 'No it's genuine enough Mick.

    My wife won twice last week.'
     
    #8227
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Exactly 10 years ago today I lost my wife..

    Fu*k me, what a game of cards that was!!!
     
    #8228
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8229
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2020
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  10. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnny walks past his Mum and Dad's bedroom and sees them both having sex, at breakfast the next morning he tells his Mum what he saw and asked what she was doing with Dad. A bit flustered his Mum said "Well, what we were doing was baking. Daddy puts his ingredients inside Mummy's oven and sometimes we bake a lovely baby just like you and your Sister June" Johnny takes it all in and gets on with his day.

    The following day at breakfast Johnny says "Does June like baking too Mum?" His mother replies "Er, I'm not sure what you mean" Johnny replies "Well June had her boyfriend over last night to help babysit me and I think they must have been doing some baking because this morning there was frosting all over the couch."

    (and if you are really depraved)

    "Except it tasted more like mayonnaise"
     
    #8230
    GroveRanger, Jan 14, 2020
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  11. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    6ADA98A2-7BA2-429A-A3C3-FFAD0A41E5BA.jpeg
     
    #8231
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 14, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Dave takes his pair of dead cats to a Taxidermist to be stuffed.

    "Would you like them mounted?" asked the Taxidermist.

    "Ooooh no thank you" said Dave, "Just snuggled up next to one another will be just fine "
     
    #8232
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8233
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2020
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8234
    kiwiqpr, Jan 15, 2020
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8235
    kiwiqpr, Jan 15, 2020
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8236
    kiwiqpr, Jan 15, 2020
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8237
    kiwiqpr, Jan 15, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was walking past a pet shop today when I saw a sign on a cage in the window that read
    Pedigree Netherlands cat for sale.

    I didn't believe it could be from Holland so I went in and asked the assistant

    How Dutch is that moggy in the window?
     
    #8238
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 15, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8239
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 15, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8240
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 15, 2020
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