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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9901
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9902
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9903
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9904
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My neighbour was fired after asking a customer, ‘Smoking or non-smoking’?

    The correct phrase is ‘cremation or burial’.
     
    #9905
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9906
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9907
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9908
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9909
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9910
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9911
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 2, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9912
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 2, 2020
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  13. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    The FA cup result was so funny I thought it best to put it on the Jokes page

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    Oh dear, how sad, never mind!
     
    #9913
    GroveRanger, Aug 3, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
     
    #9914
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!?

    It's not the end of the world!
     
    #9915
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9916
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9917
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9918
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road damage directly across the street from a whore house. They witnessed a Protestant Minister lurking about, then ducking into the house.
    "Would ye look at that, Darby!" said Pat. "What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant Reverends sinning in a house the likes of that place". They both shook their heads and continued working.
    A short time later they watched as a Rabbi looked around cautiously and then darted into the house when he was satisfied no one was looking.
    "Did ya see that, Darby?" Pat asked in shock and disbelief, "Is nothing holy to those Jewish Rabbis? I just can't understand what the world is coming to these days. A man of the cloth indulging himself in sins of the flesh. 'Tis a shame, I tell ya".
    Not much later a third man, a Catholic Priest, was lurking about the house, looking around to see if anyone was watching, then quietly sneaking in.
    "Oh no, Darby, look!" said Pat, removing his cap, "One of the poor girls musta died...."
     
    #9919
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2020
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  20. IwasanotherwatfordR

    IwasanotherwatfordR Well-Known Member

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    A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him. He presumes, because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off duty flight attendant.

    So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for thereby impressing her greatly . He leans across to her and says the Delta Airline motto: "We love to fly and it shows".

    The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: "Winning the hearts of the world". Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

    Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: "Going beyond expectations".

    The woman looks at him sternly and says: "What the f**k do you want?"

    "Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face... Ryanair!
     
    #9920
    IwasanotherwatfordR, Aug 4, 2020
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