1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11861
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
    The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
    The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
    The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.'
    The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
    He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
    The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that! You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
    The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'
     
    #11862
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11863
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    Little Johnny asked for a bike for his Birthday. His dad said: "We'd get you one but our mortgage is £80,000 and your mum has lost her job."

    Next day little Johnny walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks: "Where you going son?"

    Little Johnny replied: "I walked past your room last night and heard you tell mum you were pulling out, then I heard mum tell you to wait coz she was coming too, I'm not staying here on me own with an £80,000 mortgage and no fu*king bike!"
     
    #11864
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11865
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    I'm sure there's a cream for that......

    please log in to view this image
     
    #11866
    Makemstine Roger, Ninj and kiwiqpr like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11867
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11868
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11869
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    Seems legit......

    please log in to view this image
     
    #11870

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    Went to Bosworth battlefield yesterday.
    There’s a plaque in the ground there that says King Richard the 3rd fell here.
    I’m not surprised. I nearly tripped over it myself!
     
    #11871
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    Further to my efforts of growing my Stella Artois tree it's coming along nicely. It’s got buds....

    please log in to view this image
     
    #11872
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11873
    Makemstine Roger and Ninj like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    Off to University in an attempt to improve my Cuppa Soup making technique.

    I'm doing a Bachelors Degree.
     
    #11874
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    BREAKING COVID NEWS:

    New Flora variant......spreads more easily
     
    #11875
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11876
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    So as I get older, I think of all the people I've lost along the way
    please log in to view this image
    ...

    Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me?
     
    #11877
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11878
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11879
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,529
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11880
    Makemstine Roger likes this.

Share This Page