1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

Page 679 of 842
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
    She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
    Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck."
    Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
    "Where are you going ?" she asked.
    "To get my teeth!"
     
    #13561
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2022
    QPRski, Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and 3 others like this.
  2. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    17,995
    Likes Received:
    27,227
     
    #13562
    Uber_Hoop, Aug 20, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,817
    Likes Received:
    114,914
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13563
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 21, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,817
    Likes Received:
    114,914
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13564
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 21, 2022
    QPRski, Wooperts_duck, Goldhawk-Road and 2 others like this.
  5. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    17,995
    Likes Received:
    27,227
    Meanwhile in Norfolk…

     
    #13565
    Uber_Hoop, Aug 21, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Hammersmith bookie, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  6. Hammersmith bookie

    Hammersmith bookie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2018
    Messages:
    5,976
    Likes Received:
    9,835
    Working at the job centre has to be a tense job, knowing that if your fired , you still have to come in the next day !
     
    #13566
    Hammersmith bookie, Aug 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, QPRski, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  7. Hammersmith bookie

    Hammersmith bookie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2018
    Messages:
    5,976
    Likes Received:
    9,835
    I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism, if I don't pay it back I'm going to get repossessed !
     
    #13567
    Hammersmith bookie, Aug 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, QPRski, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  8. Hammersmith bookie

    Hammersmith bookie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2018
    Messages:
    5,976
    Likes Received:
    9,835
    What do colour blind people do when they're told to eat their greens ?
     
    #13568
    Hammersmith bookie, Aug 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck, Uber_Hoop and 1 other person like this.
  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,387
    Likes Received:
    225,166
    upload_2022-8-23_13-12-53.png
     
    #13569
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 23, 2022
    daverangers, Makemstine Roger, QPRski and 5 others like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    I stole a boomerang earlier and hid it up my sleeve…

    The security guard threw me out of the shop 37 times!
     
    #13570
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 23, 2022
    Makemstine Roger likes this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong I'm taking her out for tea and biscuits today...

    It should be quite exciting as she has never given blood before!
     
    #13571
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, QPRski and kiwiqpr like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    So I don't mind Genetically Modified foods

    I've just had a lovely leg of salmon....
     
    #13572
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, QPRski and kiwiqpr like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13573
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13574
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and Hammersmith bookie like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13575
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13576
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, QPRski, Uber_Hoop and 1 other person like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    Got a new hobby. A couple of days a week, I spend two hours bellringing.

    Some people find it an odd thing to do with your time,but I find it very therapeutic.

    The bus driver seems less keen on it, though...
     
    #13577
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,387
    Likes Received:
    225,166
     
    #13578
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, Flanman and 1 other person like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13579
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,696
    Likes Received:
    263,771
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13580
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
Page 679 of 842

Share This Page