After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my arse still hurts."
An old lady got on an elevator in a very lavish building,when a young woman gets on smelling of perfume. The woman turns to the old woman and arrogantly says "Romance by Ralph Lauren $150.00 an ounce!" Then another young woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly says "Chanel#5 $200.00 an ounce!" About 3 floors later,the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator, but before she leaves,she looks at both women in the eye,bends over Farts and says "Broccoli 49 cents a pound!"
I freely admit that I’m not an expert on Part M (disability access) of Building Regulations….but please log in to view this image 24 8 109 4,185
Bay Kurley (Parody Not affiliated to Journalism) @BayKurley · Mar 19 GUYS!!! If I identify as a journalist, does that mean I am one? Stay tuned to Sly News x please log in to view this image 6 8 57 1,437
A Mother-in-law decides to test her three Son-in-laws for their good nature. For this, she goes for a walk by the river with the 1st Son-in-law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning, he finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with a note: "From your Mother-in-Law" Next, she goes for a walk by the river with the 2nd Son-in-law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning He also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with a note: "From your Mother-In-Law" Next, she goes for a walk by the river with the 3rd Son-in-law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away... Next morning, he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with a note: "FROM YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW!" please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
Stairs to have a landing platform every 12 steps. Wherlchair access gradient slip to be no more than 1:20 gradient. Less is better.
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, find a field in which to let the pigs mate. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not." The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week. Both farmers were worn out. The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass." "Neither," yelled his wife. "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."