1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

Page 332 of 865
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    Paddy Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.

    A Norwegian also applied for the same job. Since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to sit for a test and were led to a quiet room where they would not be interrupted.

    When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
    The manager went to Paddy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.”

    Paddy said,... "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct and this being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.”

    The Manager replied, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”

    Paddy started to get annoyed and asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?”

    The Manager said, "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't know'.

    You put down, ˜Neither do I".
     
    #6621
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2020
    swantastic, daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    The inventor of inappropriately timed innuendo jokes died yesterday.

    His wife is taking it hard.
     
    #6622
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2020
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,287
    Likes Received:
    224,931
    upload_2020-1-18_23-46-31.jpeg
     
    #6623
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 18, 2020
    swantastic, Wooperts_duck and neveroffsidereff like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    Be Proud to be British. We know where every untaxed car is located among the millions of UK car owners but we haven't a clue where the millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

    Why doesn't Boris Johnson put the DVLA in charge of immigration!
     
    #6624
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 19, 2020
    daimungeezer, swantastic, Taffvalerowdy and 2 others like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    Always drive in your dressing gown and slippers.

    If you cause a car crash, you can pose as a witness from a nearby house!
     
    #6625
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 19, 2020
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  6. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    29,014
    Likes Received:
    33,405
    Jobs for Swansea, I’m in favour of that.
     
    #6626
    neveroffsidereff, Jan 20, 2020
    Wooperts_duck, daimungeezer, swantastic and 1 other person like this.
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,287
    Likes Received:
    224,931
    upload_2020-1-20_11-17-56.jpeg
     
    #6627
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 20, 2020
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,287
    Likes Received:
    224,931
    upload_2020-1-20_19-13-28.jpeg
     
    #6628
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 20, 2020
    daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck and neveroffsidereff like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6629
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 20, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, daimungeezer and neveroffsidereff like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6630
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 20, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy and daimungeezer like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6631
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, daimungeezer, Number 1 Jasper and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6632
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, daimungeezer and neveroffsidereff like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6633
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, daimungeezer and neveroffsidereff like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6634
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    I love the look on people's faces, standing freezing at the bus stop as I drive past them.

    It's partly why I became a bus driver.
     
    #6635
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    I own a pencil that was once owned by William Shakespeare.

    But he chewed it a lot, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B?
     
    #6636
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6637
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6638
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    daimungeezer, Taffvalerowdy and swantastic like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6639
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    daimungeezer, Taffvalerowdy and swantastic like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6640
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2020
    neveroffsidereff, daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
Page 332 of 865

Share This Page