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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Patient - Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's and T's properly

    Doctor - Well, you can't say fairer than that
     
    #6902
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6903
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM - AND HOW HE DID IT! Personally, I would have given him 100%✅

    Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?

    * His last battle

    Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

    * At the bottom of the page

    Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

    * Liquid

    Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

    * Marriage

    Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

    * Exams

    Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

    * Lunch & dinner

    Q7. What looks like half an apple?

    * The other half

    Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

    * It will simply become wet

    Q9. How cansomeone go eight days withoutsleeping?

    * No problem just sleeps at night

    Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

    * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

    Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?

    * Very large hands

    Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

    * No time at all, the wall is already built

    Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

    *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

    A little sarcasm in there!
     
    #6904
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.THANK YOU!
     
    #6906
  7. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Arsehole parks in ‘Disabled’ canoe space outside supermarket up north.......

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    #6908
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man has been shot 200 times with an upholstery gun!

    Surgeons say " He is fully recovered now".
     
    #6910
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just been to a ventriloquist's funeral - they sang the hymn "All Things Gright And Geautikal!"
     
    #6911
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.

    His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year -- maybe on your anniversary."

    The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"

    His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
     
    #6913
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-2-20_16-24-19.jpeg

    Prince Andrew celebrating his 60th birthday alone in Pizza Express ........ No sweat <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #6917
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6918
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6919
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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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