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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7861
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7862
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7863
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An Irish Priest transferred to Texas:
    Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.
    He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
    He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
    He promptly called the local police station.
    The conversation went like this:
    “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
    “And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple of’yer lads to take care of the matter?”
    Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied,
    “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
    There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…
    Father O’Malley then replied, “Aye, ’tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”
     
    #7864
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

    I can't believe the currant exchange rate.
     
    #7865
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7866
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2020
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  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-6-5_9-41-52.jpeg
     
    #7867
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 5, 2020
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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-6-5_9-44-29.jpeg
     
    #7868
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 5, 2020
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  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-6-5_18-39-4.jpeg
     
    #7869
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 5, 2020
    daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck and neveroffsidereff like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7870
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-6-5_20-25-39.jpeg

    Winner of ‘Wife of the Year’
     
    #7871
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 5, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7872
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7873
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Please don't feel embarrassed when wearing your face mask out in public.

    Let's face it - some people wear Southampton shirts !!
     
    #7874
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Whilst driving through Yorkshire.....

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    #7875
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My flight back from Gibraltar to Glasgow has just been cancelled.

    Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
     
    #7876
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My wife ran off with the milkman this morning.

    Watching them drive away on his milk float was the worst two hours of my life.
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    #7877
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7878
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7879
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7880
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2020
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