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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    God was talking to St Peter one day and he said. "Earth is almost complete but there's still one thing left to do."
    "I'm going to create a country which will be the jewel in the crown. It will have mountains which will be covered in snow in the Winter. It will have valleys where the people can live with their livestock. The woods and forests will be full of different animals and the rivers will teem with fish. Its golden beaches will attract visitors from all over the world."
    "The people who live there will be the happiest and friendliest on Earth and they will be liked wherever they go."
    "I am going to call this country WALES."
    St Peter. "My Lord this country sounds amazing it will be perfect."
    God. "Not quite Pete. Wait until you see the neighbours I'm gonna give them."
     
    #11022
  3. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just spotted Sinead O'Connor bird-watching.
    I asked how she was getting on.
    She said, "so far it's been 7 owls and 15 jays"
     
    #11024
  5. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  6. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  7. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Me & my missus favourite sexual position is called the ''England football team'' ! . . .

    Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication & we never make it past the 1st stage.

    There's horrible dribbling & never a clean sheet. Its over far too quickly & when it does end I know it'll be at least another four fkn years before it happens again!
     
    #11028
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was eating a burger when a lady come by with a salad. She said you know that a cow died so you could eat that. I said if you weren't eating all its food it probably wouldn't have
     
    #11029
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Who said that Men can't multitask, after some practice I can now listen to the wife and ignore her at the same time !
     
    #11030

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I am starting a protest tomorrow.
    "Fat Lives Matter"
    Meeting at McDonald's at 10
    KFC at 11
    BurgerKing at 12
    Gregg's at 1
     
    #11031
  12. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    An essential marital skill men master fairly quickly <laugh>
     
    #11032
  13. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  14. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  15. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  16. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  17. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  19. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #11040

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