1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    125,907
    Likes Received:
    224,119
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    A woman rings hubby and tells him that she's been promoted at work . . . . she is now the manager's personal assistant and will have to work late some nights, starting tonight.
    At breakfast the next morning hubby notices her new watch.
    When asked about it the wife says that she won it in the weekly office raffle.
    A week later she rings him to say that she has to attend a late meeting with the boss.
    Next morning hubby notices her new Gucci purse and asks how can they afford it. "It's okay" she says. "I won it in the weekly office raffle."
    One evening the following week they arrive home at the same time and she tells him that she has to go out again to attend a special client meeting and can he run her a bath while she shaves her legs.
    When she goes to the bathroom she is shocked to see half an inch of water in the bath and asks hubby "What's the meaning of this?"
    Husband says "I didn't think that you'd want to get your raffle ticket wet."
     
    #14322
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,850
    Likes Received:
    262,523
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14323
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14324
  5. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    10,616
    Likes Received:
    13,871
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    Claude is 81, and Maude is 79. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town, and they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay. Whilst basking in the glow of the magic moments that they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts . . . . Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known that she was still a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.'
    Maude was thinking: 'If I'd known that he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off.'
     
    #14326
  7. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,198
    Likes Received:
    30,234
  8. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,198
    Likes Received:
    30,234
  9. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    10,616
    Likes Received:
    13,871
  10. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,198
    Likes Received:
    30,234
    Couple of fannies <laugh>
     
    #14330
    Makemstine Roger likes this.

  11. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    10,616
    Likes Received:
    13,871
  12. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,198
    Likes Received:
    30,234
  13. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    10,616
    Likes Received:
    13,871
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    I’ve been taking viagra for my sunburn
    It doesn’t cure it
    But it helps keep the sheets off my legs during the night
     
    #14334
    Wooperts_duck and daimungeezer like this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14335
    Wooperts_duck and daimungeezer like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    Just been reading about a major Albanian crime gang that is terrorising London.
    Surely they can’t be too difficult to catch with all that white hair and red eyes.
     
    #14336
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    Winter is nearly here & our native birds will soon be finding food scarce. Please go to the pet shop & buy a bag of nuts for our feathered friends.

    There is no finer sight on a winter's morning than a pair of tits around your nut sack. Just remember however it's a bit early in the year to expect a swallow!
     
    #14337
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14338
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14339
    Wooperts_duck and daimungeezer like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,394
    Likes Received:
    113,984
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14340

Share This Page