So the crocodile trainer unzipped and placed his manhood between the Croc jaws.He then banged the crocs head with a pint glass. The Croc snapped its jaw almost shut, leaving the trainers manhood intact. Audience clapped.The trainer asked if anyone else wanted to try. A little old lady shouted out "I will, but don't hit me so hard with that pint pot"
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 000 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open-heart surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. “Do you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.” The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.” “Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun. He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.” The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.” “Perfect,” the Irishman replied. “Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”