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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    "Give it to me ! Give it to me !" she yelled.
    I'm so wet, give it to me now!""
    She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
     
    #19701
    antipodean exile, Jul 23, 2021
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19702
    antipodean exile, Jul 23, 2021
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19703
    antipodean exile, Jul 23, 2021
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19704
    antipodean exile, Jul 23, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19705
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19706
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19707
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husbands temper..The doctor asks, " What's the problem? " The woman says, doctor, I don't know what to do..Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason, it scares me..The doctor says, " I have a cure for that..When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth..Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.." Two weeks later, the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn..The woman says, doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water..I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that? The doctor says, " The water itself does nothing..It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.."
     
    #19708
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19709
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19710
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19711
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19712
    antipodean exile, Jul 24, 2021
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19713
    antipodean exile, Jul 24, 2021
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19714
    antipodean exile, Jul 24, 2021
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  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19715
    antipodean exile, Jul 24, 2021
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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19716
    antipodean exile, Jul 24, 2021
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19717
    antipodean exile, Jul 24, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19718
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2021
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy , Seamus , and murphy wanted to get into the Olympics but the tickets were all sold out . Looking round they saw a construction site. Paddy said " Ive got a great idea " and proceded to share his idea with his friends . Paddy picks up a long piece of scaffolding , walks to the competitors entrance and says " Im here for the pole vault " and security let him in . Seamus finds a manhole cover and proceeds to the entrance and says " Im here for the discus .Murphy goes over to the entrance carrying a roll of barbed wire . The security guard asks " What are you here for ?" . Paddy replies " Fencing " . !
     
    #19719
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2021
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19720
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2021
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