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**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

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  1. Blueman

    Blueman Well-Known Member

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    I am absolutely pissing myself at this. Class!
     
    #41
    Blueman, Sep 21, 2017
    Libby and PINKIE like this.
  2. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    What did the leper say to the prostitute ?

    You can keep the tip
     
    #42
    PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017
    remembercolinlee, Libby, commachio and 3 others like this.
  3. Lovearsenalcock

    Lovearsenalcock Homeboy
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    This isnt a serious thread Comm
     
    #43
    Lovearsenalcock, Sep 21, 2017
  4. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Southampton are red,
    The skates are blue,
    We went to Milan,
    They were still in league 2!
     
    #44
    Libby, Sep 21, 2017
    Blueman likes this.
  5. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    I've just joined a Reggae band playing the Triangle.
    All I have to do is stand there and ting
     
    #45
    PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017
    Libby, AKCJ, SpursDisciple and 3 others like this.
  6. Blueman

    Blueman Well-Known Member

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    Man with a rabbit on his head call Warren.
     
    #46
    Blueman, Sep 21, 2017
    commachio and PINKIE like this.
  7. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese ?

    Caerphilly
     
    #47
    PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017
    remembercolinlee, Blueman, Lovearsenalcock and 1 other person like this.
  8. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    a white horse goes into a pub, goes to the bar and says, " a large whisky please mate"

    Barman looks a bit stunned and says "what brand?"

    The horse says "what you got mate?"

    "we've got Bells, Haig and we've even got one named after you!"

    The horse says "Frank?"
     
    #48
    Tobes, Sep 21, 2017
    Burly Hurley, remembercolinlee and Blueman like this.
  9. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Was looking to buy a camouflage coat the other day.

    I couldn't find any.
     
    #49
    PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017
    commachio, remembercolinlee and Blueman like this.
  10. remembercolinlee

    remembercolinlee Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?


    Still no idea
     
    #50
    remembercolinlee, Sep 21, 2017
    PINKIE and Blueman like this.

  11. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Man lying next to a door.

    Called Mat.
     
    #51
    Commachio, Sep 21, 2017
    AKCJ, remembercolinlee and PINKIE like this.
  12. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    ****ing hell if we're going down that road I've got loads but might get me a ban <laugh>

    What do you call an Asian lesbian?

    Minge-eater.
     
    #52
    Libby, Sep 21, 2017
    Blueman and PINKIE like this.
  13. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    I called my doctor because I've got a problem with my ears

    That was over a week ago and I still haven't heard anything.
     
    #53
    PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017
    Blueman and Lovearsenalcock like this.
  14. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    What do you call a dead deer with no eyes and is a virgin?


    Still no ****ing idea.
     
    #54
    Commachio, Sep 21, 2017
    Blueman, Libby, remembercolinlee and 1 other person like this.
  15. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Has anyone else ever noticed that 'maddie' is an anagram of I'm dead'?
     
    #55
    Libby, Sep 21, 2017
    Deleted likes this.
  16. Lovearsenalcock

    Lovearsenalcock Homeboy
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    Indian name mate..im cool with that


    <laugh>
     
    #56
    Lovearsenalcock, Sep 21, 2017
    Libby likes this.
  17. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Like I say I've got loads along that line... I know most here I'm not really racist but I'm worried about a ban <laugh>
     
    #57
    Libby, Sep 21, 2017
    PINKIE and Lovearsenalcock like this.
  18. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Man had an accident at work when he fell into an upholstery machine.


    He's fully recovered now.
     
    #58
    PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017
    remembercolinlee, "Thanks for that Brian", Blueman and 1 other person like this.
  19. remembercolinlee

    remembercolinlee Well-Known Member

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    A man walks into a bar

    He's an alcholic and it's ruinjng his life
     
    #59
    remembercolinlee, Sep 22, 2017
    Blueman likes this.
  20. remembercolinlee

    remembercolinlee Well-Known Member

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    I got a magic car

    I turned the steering wheel and it turned into a car park
     
    #60
    remembercolinlee, Sep 22, 2017
    Blueman likes this.
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