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**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

Page 6 of 41
  1. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    Two dyslexic Bank robbers walked into a bank with shot guns and shouted

    "AIR IN THE HANDS MOTHERSTICKERS THIS IS A ****UP"
     
    #101
    thefanwithnoname, Sep 22, 2017
    Deleted likes this.
  2. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    I went out with an Indian bird once. She asked me for a facial and I came on the spot
     
    #102
    thefanwithnoname, Sep 22, 2017
    BobbyD, Deleted, PINKIE and 2 others like this.
  3. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    There is a thin line between success and failure.



    Its called Hadrian's wall
     
    #103
    thefanwithnoname, Sep 22, 2017
    Schlem Boogerman, remembercolinlee, Commachio and 2 others like this.
  4. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

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    Dyslexia isn't fun as I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
     
    #104
    The Ginger Marks, Sep 22, 2017
    commachio, Lovearsenalcock and remembercolinlee like this.
  5. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Scottish bloke walks into a bakers "Is that a donut or a meringue?"

    Baker replies "No you're right, it's a donut".
     
    #105
    Tel (they/them), Sep 22, 2017
    commachio likes this.
  6. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Man goes into a pub and orders a packet of helicopter flavour crisps.

    "Sorry mate we only have plain".
     
    #106
    Tel (they/them), Sep 22, 2017
    commachio, Lovearsenalcock and remembercolinlee like this.
  7. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    What's pink and dusty?

    Maddie's bike.
     
    #107
    Tel (they/them), Sep 22, 2017
    Libby, Deleted and commachio like this.
  8. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    Farmer - I've just bred a chicken with 6 legs.
    Neighbour - What do they taste like?
    Farmer - Dunno, haven't caught one yet.
     
    #108
    Burly Hurley, Sep 22, 2017
    commachio, Lovearsenalcock and remembercolinlee like this.
  9. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

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    The Japanese have successfully crossed an octopus with a turkey, they are difficult to catch but everybody gets a leg.
     
    #109
    The Ginger Marks, Sep 22, 2017
    remembercolinlee likes this.
  10. DerekTheMole

    DerekTheMole Well-Known Member

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    Did you know the urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is always just a whim away?
     
    #110
    DerekTheMole, Sep 22, 2017
    Schlem Boogerman, Tel (they/them), Commachio and 3 others like this.

  11. DerekTheMole

    DerekTheMole Well-Known Member

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    I'm not very good at jokes because I'm dyslexic.

    I always punch up the ****line.
     
    #111
    DerekTheMole, Sep 22, 2017
    Schlem Boogerman, Hoddle is a god, "Thanks for that Brian" and 5 others like this.
  12. remembercolinlee

    remembercolinlee Well-Known Member

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    Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
    Up his sleevies
     
    #112
    remembercolinlee, Sep 22, 2017
    commachio, Lovearsenalcock and The Ginger Marks like this.
  13. NSIS

    NSIS Well-Known Member

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    I said to the wife, 'Good morning dear'

    I always call her dear, it's the antlers...
     
    #113
    NSIS, Sep 22, 2017
    commachio and Lovearsenalcock like this.
  14. Lovearsenalcock

    Lovearsenalcock Homeboy
    Forum Moderator

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    Been some top **** jokes shared..this thread has been a success
     
    #114
    Lovearsenalcock, Sep 22, 2017
    remembercolinlee, BobbyD, Libby and 1 other person like this.
  15. paultheplug

    paultheplug Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a woman between two posts

    Annette
     
    #115
    paultheplug, Sep 22, 2017
    remembercolinlee, Commachio and PINKIE like this.
  16. paultheplug

    paultheplug Well-Known Member

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    What do you call that tall thin bloke standing in front of the singer

    Mike
     
    #116
    paultheplug, Sep 22, 2017
    remembercolinlee, Commachio and PINKIE like this.
  17. paultheplug

    paultheplug Well-Known Member

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    What do you call someone with an IQ of 300

    The Arsenal crowd
     
    #117
    paultheplug, Sep 22, 2017
    remembercolinlee, Deleted #, Lovearsenalcock and 1 other person like this.
  18. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

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    Sky's discovered that he's both dyslexic and gay? He's still in Daniel!
     
    #118
    The Ginger Marks, Sep 22, 2017
    Deleted likes this.
  19. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    Just creased everyone up in the bar that one!!! <laugh><laugh>
     
    #119
    Burly Hurley, Sep 22, 2017
    remembercolinlee, "Thanks for that Brian", Lovearsenalcock and 1 other person like this.
  20. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #120
    The Ginger Marks, Sep 22, 2017
    Tel (they/them), Deleted, paultheplug and 2 others like this.
Page 6 of 41
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