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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. milkyboy

    milkyboy Well-Known Member

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    another Freudian typo... must bring back some memories fella
     
    #201
    milkyboy, Jan 21, 2020
    davy, Whitejock and OLOF like this.
  2. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    You're right, Milky, it was a typo. He was shooting at ducks, not coppers.
     
    #202
    brisbane-lion, Jan 22, 2020
  3. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Not a joke as such, but made me laugh out loud. Makes you wonder if everything has been scripted, including the gesticulations & furious looks at Trump when (rightly) ignored by him :D

    Poor lass is being seriously manipulated. Child abuse! :)

     
    #203
    Whitejock, Jan 22, 2020
    FORZA LEEDS likes this.
  4. lifecheshirewhite

    lifecheshirewhite Cheese

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    Maybe you were thinking (**** a duck)
     
    #204
    lifecheshirewhite, Jan 22, 2020
  5. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    "i can't speak for everyone" she says, yet that is exactly what the little freak does, ****ing retard
     
    #205
    OLOF, Jan 22, 2020
    Infidel, wakeybreakyheart, Whitejock and 1 other person like this.
  6. Eric Le Merde

    Eric Le Merde Well-Known Member

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    An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
    His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
    He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
    "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
    "Here boy" he replies.
     
    #206
    Eric Le Merde, Jan 22, 2020
    Eireleeds1 likes this.
  7. Eric Le Merde

    Eric Le Merde Well-Known Member

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    "You can't park there, it's a disabled space," shouted the car park attendant.

    "There are eleven empty spaces - it's not as if eleven disabled people are all going to turn up at once, is it?" I replied.

    At which point the Millwall FC team bus pulled up to disprove my theory.
     
    #207
    Eric Le Merde, Jan 22, 2020
    Eireleeds1 likes this.
  8. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    NOT FUNNY, ERIC, NOT FUNNY. <yikes><yikes>
     
    #208
    brisbane-lion, Jan 22, 2020
    Eric Le Merde likes this.
  9. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    How long will you have to disappear for if they win, God forbid? <yikes>
     
    #209
    Whitejock, Jan 22, 2020
  10. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Dot on the card, WJ, dot on the card. :1980_boogie_down::1980_boogie_down:
     
    #210
    brisbane-lion, Jan 23, 2020

  11. Eric Le Merde

    Eric Le Merde Well-Known Member

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    Buckley's and none
     
    #211
    Eric Le Merde, Jan 23, 2020
  12. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Racked my brain, but i don't actually know what that means. Oz phrase, perhaps?
     
    #212
    Whitejock, Jan 23, 2020
  13. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    Bound to happen
     
    #213
    2020VisionofLeeds, Jan 23, 2020
    Whitejock likes this.
  14. lifecheshirewhite

    lifecheshirewhite Cheese

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    Marked his card
     
    #214
    lifecheshirewhite, Jan 23, 2020
    brisbane-lion and Whitejock like this.
  15. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Not Aussie, mate, pure Old Kent Road. It means 'definitely', for sure, no problem, easy-peasy. Sorry you had to wrack your brain, hope it's all better now. Oh, and Eric, it's Buckley and Nunn. Old Melbourne company.
     
    #215
    brisbane-lion, Jan 23, 2020
    Whitejock likes this.
  16. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    I took my dog to the dole office to see what he was entitled to. the bloke behind the counter said,
    "you idiot, we don't give benefits to dogs"
    I argued, "why not, he's brown, he stinks, he's never worked a ****ing day in his life, and he can't speak a word of English"
    The bloke replied, "His giro will be on Monday"
     
    #216
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2020
    OLOF, Jan 23, 2020
    Infidel, Farsleyexile, lifecheshirewhite and 2 others like this.
  17. Eric Le Merde

    Eric Le Merde Well-Known Member

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    You pommy illiterate

    Screen Shot 2020-01-24 at 6.36.59 am.png
     
    #217
    Eric Le Merde, Jan 23, 2020
  18. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    During the recent period of heavy rain my shed roof started leaking, so I’d just like to take the opportunity to thank my neighbour who lent me a large, heavy duty, waterproof sheet.
    Ta Pauline….
    :(
     
    #218
    OLOF, Jan 24, 2020
    Gessa likes this.
  19. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Just noticed that scum are 43 points off the top of the PL & only 17 from the bottom. Happy days. :D

    Over to Her Maj ....

    please log in to view this image
     
    #219
    Whitejock, Jan 24, 2020
    stonkin, 2 pennth, Farsleyexile and 2 others like this.
  20. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Bull ****, Eric. You know very well that you're wrong. Go on, admit it. <doh>
     
    #220
    brisbane-lion, Jan 24, 2020
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