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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

Page 16 of 441
  1. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #301
    ellandback, Mar 21, 2020
    Ringo Lion likes this.
  2. lifecheshirewhite

    lifecheshirewhite Cheese

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    All sport has been cancelled, but live boxing can be seen in Asda, Aldi, Tesco, Lidl, and Sainsbury.
     
    #302
    lifecheshirewhite, Mar 21, 2020
    ellandback, 2 pennth and Farsleyexile like this.
  3. lifecheshirewhite

    lifecheshirewhite Cheese

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    I need to re home a dog it's a small Jack Russell and barks a lot, If anyone's interested I will jump over next doors fence and get it for you. <laugh>
     
    #303
    lifecheshirewhite, Mar 21, 2020
    2020VisionofLeeds, ellandback, stonkin and 4 others like this.
  4. lifecheshirewhite

    lifecheshirewhite Cheese

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    The Chinese next door had Waffles for breakfast.




    Bastards, I loved that cat.
     
    #304
    lifecheshirewhite, Mar 21, 2020
    ellandback, Gessa and Farsleyexile like this.
  5. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    My good deed for the day done ✅
    So I did a massive shop earlier as there was a big delivery in . Bought loo roll, pasta ,bread ,Soup , hand gels the lot . My trolley was absolutely rammed full. Then I saw this old girl behind me with only two things She looked sad and said “I’ve only managed to get a box of Kleenex and a bag of nuts everything else is gone “ . I felt terrible . Here I am with all this stuff waiting in line and this poor old girl had **** all . So I did the right thing

    and said to her “go on love , you go in front , you’ve only got two things.
     
    #305
    Gessa, Mar 21, 2020
    Farsleyexile, Eireleeds1, FORZA LEEDS and 4 others like this.
  6. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    I have the same problem can you jump over my fence it’s 6ft
     
    #306
    2 pennth, Mar 21, 2020
    lifecheshirewhite likes this.
  7. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Bloke in a tractor just drove past m e and shouted “the end of the world is nigh”

    Think it was Farmer Geddon.....



    I'll get me coat! <doh>
     
    #307
    Whitejock, Mar 21, 2020
    ellandback and Farsleyexile like this.
  8. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    I should think so as well ;)
     
    #308
    2 pennth, Mar 21, 2020
    Whitejock likes this.
  9. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    The really attractive 20 something lesbian couple that recently moved in next door to us have just made a sex tape....don't think they know yet.
     
    #309
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2020
    Gessa, Mar 22, 2020
    ellandback, Eireleeds1 and wakeybreakyheart like this.
  10. TC (Lovely Geezer)

    TC (Lovely Geezer) Well-Known Member

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    As Italy struggles to cremate it's dead, Angela Merkel has reassured the German public that it can cope with up to 6 million.
     
    #310
    TC (Lovely Geezer), Mar 22, 2020
    Ringo Lion likes this.

  11. lifecheshirewhite

    lifecheshirewhite Cheese

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    See she's fooked up,she had a Pneumonia jab which most countries have run out of and is only supposed to be for them at most risk,she jumped the queue, but it turns out the Doctor who gave her the vaccination has covid 19.
     
    #311
    lifecheshirewhite, Mar 23, 2020
  12. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    Have we got proof that this is a justifiable claim after all it seems one hell of a lot to me<doh>
     
    #312
    2 pennth, Mar 23, 2020
  13. FORZA LEEDS

    FORZA LEEDS Well-Known Member

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    TC was joking 2p - this is the joke thread :biggrin:
     
    #313
    FORZA LEEDS, Mar 23, 2020
  14. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    You obviously did not read between the lines
     
    #314
    2 pennth, Mar 23, 2020
  15. FORZA LEEDS

    FORZA LEEDS Well-Known Member

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    I did, that's the point <doh>
     
    #315
    FORZA LEEDS, Mar 23, 2020
  16. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolates.
    He tried in vain to attract attention, but every time he yelled out;
    "The Milky Bars are on me!"
    People just cheered..
     
    #316
    Eireleeds1, Mar 23, 2020
    ellandback, Farsleyexile, 2 pennth and 2 others like this.
  17. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #317
    Old Git, Mar 24, 2020
    ellandback, Farsleyexile and Gessa like this.
  18. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    7478A886-F68A-4CEF-91D3-18152DEA52AC.jpeg
     
    #318
    2020VisionofLeeds, Mar 24, 2020
    ellandback, 2 pennth, Farsleyexile and 1 other person like this.
  19. 2 pennth

    2 pennth Well-Known Member

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    First I’ve heard about this kind of thing but my advise would be
    Just smash the bottle you daft xxxxxxxxxxxx:emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #319
    2 pennth, Mar 24, 2020
  20. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    6E4B9FB3-31AC-47A5-95D1-F7159B2FC382.jpeg
     
    #320
    Eireleeds1, Mar 25, 2020
    stonkin, 2020VisionofLeeds, Gessa and 1 other person like this.
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