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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6821
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 9, 2022
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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6822
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 9, 2022
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A couple driving home run over a badger.

    They get out and find that it's still breathing, but freezing cold and barely alive.

    He says, "Put it between your legs to warm it up."

    She says, "It's all wet and it stinks, though."

    He says, "Well hold its ****ing nose, then !"
     
    #6823
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 9, 2022
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  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Well that didn't go to plan at the Christmas activity play!


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    #6824
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 9, 2022
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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6825
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 9, 2022
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  6. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    221d446cc937044b27860974f334824a29a0ad60e020d9f3bd993586530a5c1d.jpg
     
    #6826
    Old Git, Dec 10, 2022
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  7. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    #6827
    oldschool, Dec 10, 2022
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6828
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 10, 2022
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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6829
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 10, 2022
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  10. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip. But there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress.

    Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink.

    In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

    Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

    The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"

    And that my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
     
    #6830
    Aski, Dec 10, 2022
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  11. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    went to see the band elbow the other month, and last night there was an elbow tribute band on at the local called arse...they where very good you couldn't tell them apart
     
    #6831
    oldschool, Dec 11, 2022
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6832
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 12, 2022
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6833
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 12, 2022
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    say what you see


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    NODDY HOLDER
     
    #6834
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 12, 2022
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6835
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 12, 2022
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6836
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 12, 2022
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6837
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 13, 2022
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6838
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 13, 2022
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6839
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 14, 2022
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6840
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 14, 2022
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