Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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Mrs. A. brought home a tub of ice cream and asked me if I wanted some.
"How hard is it?" I asked, and she cheekily replied "As hard as your cock when you think of me naked!"
I said "Go on then . . . . pour me a glass!"

Then I said "ouch"

 

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Are my testicles black?  A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?"

 

Virus or not, me and my partner are just having a couple of hours down Skegness seafront.
We've toured the arcades, had a couple of rides and got some ace photos eating candy floss in 'kiss me quick' hats.
My boss even rang up to see how we're getting on ..
I told him, "All quiet here Sarg, we've not had to make any arrests."

 

Paul Pogba's agent .. "How can you expect my client to take a pay cut when he's been on full pay to do f*ck all already this season?"

 

The man who invented the strobe light died today. Hi fu er l w ll ta e pl ce ne t w ek at 2: 5 m

 

I once hung a horseshoe above my front door for luck. One day, as I was leaving the house, it fell down and cracked my skull wide open. Talk about lucky, I spent the day in A&E, and thus missed my wedding.

 

I was looking through the early NOT606 archives and came across this woodcut from 1353.

Those lads knew how to laugh in the face of a virus.

This one's called 'Rave from the Grave' and was posted by someone called Gil T Azell yer Honour.

... the first response was 'Party like it's 1354'

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Stay at home.

 

I've just been sent this on email ...

... it's either a Chinese horoscope or the local takeaway sending out their new menu.

 

Make sure you watch it through ...

... it's beautiful somehow.

 

ˢᵃᵈ ᵗᵒ ʰᵉᵃʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶦᶰᵛᵉᶰᵗᵒʳ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵃᵍᶰᶦᶠʸᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᶫᵃˢˢᵉˢ ʰᵃˢ ᵈᶦᵉᵈ⋅