Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Social distancing lines for when the pubs reopen.

 

Nice welding on them butts, looks like full penetration has been achieved.

 

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Whilst travelling through Yorkshire . . . .

 

Mr. Smart walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says that he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says that the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr. Smart hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which cost a quarter of a million pounds.
“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Smart, “and I have all the necessary papers.”
The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr. Smart leaves, the loan officer, the bank's president and all of their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.
One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Smart returns, repays the £5000 and the interest, which came to £15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, I must tell you that we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?"
The man replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?"

 

A mother is amazed after apparently receiving three wishes from her new car
"Technology's amazing these days" she said

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I went skydiving for the first time today. This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he said, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"

 

Wife: "Do these jeans make me look fat?"
Me: "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes I promise."
Me: "I f*cked your sister!"