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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  2. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    Here is a one for @Gordon Armstrong
    And others
    What is the only word in the English language
    With 3 consecutive double letters
     
    #12602
  3. Sunderpitt

    Sunderpitt Well-Known Member

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    As a retired bean counter I might have answer to that question!
     
    #12603
    Montysoptician likes this.
  4. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    I think you will mate
     
    #12604
    Sunderpitt likes this.
  5. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    Oh no, it's happening.

    The senility I always feared is setting in.

    I've just had a phone call telling me I was involved in a car accident that wasn't my fault.

    I also need glasses now as well ...

    ... I've been all round the car and can't see any damage whatsoever <doh>
     
    #12605
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2021
    mrs em, Whittylad, Snaggey and 3 others like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  7. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    #12607
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #12608
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    reach for the stars but on second thoughts the top shelf will do
     
    #12609
    Whittylad and spirit of 73 like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #12610

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #12612
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12613
    spirit of 73 likes this.
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    The seven dwarfs visit the Pope. Dopey asks "Are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
    "No my son" replied the Pope. 'Are any dwarf nuns in Europe?" Dopey asks.
    "No my son" the Pope replied. "Are the any dwarf nuns in the world?" asked Dopey. "No my son" replied the Pope. The other six dwarfs started rolling around the floor laughing and shouting :emoticon-0159-musicDopey shagged a penguin, Dopey shagged a penguin:emoticon-0159-music
     
    #12615
    spirit of 73 and Snaggey like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    I went to a mate's wedding recently and I whispered to a bloke next to me "Isn't the bride a right ugly bugger"

    "Do you mind? That's my daughter that you're talking about"

    "I'm really sorry. I didn't know that you were her father"

    "I'm not . . . . I'm her mother, you cheeky bastard"
     
    #12616
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    I ordered 4 Kindles from Amazon on black friday . . . . they've sent me a Two Ronnies dvd !
     
    #12617
  18. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant.
    (clappy hand thingy that I don't know how to do)
     
    #12618
    Whittylad and Makemstine Roger like this.
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Dear Technical Support,
    18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.
    However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
    To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
    Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.
    I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
    Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
    I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0.
    While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.
    Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run.
    Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
    Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge.
    These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.
    Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Leon FR hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.
    Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but I've been told there could be problems.
    A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.
    Any advice would be helpful, many thanks.
     
    #12619
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A couple, both age 78, went to an NHS sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
    The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
    The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
    When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them £50.
    This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
    Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
    "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
    "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges £90. The Hilton charges £108. We do it here for £50...and I get £43 back from Bupa.
     
    #12620
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