Fake news https://www.aap.com.au/factcheck/prostitute-quip-attributed-to-former-governor-general-is-a-fake/ In 1997, the “prostitute” comment was attributed to a youth club leader called Jones who was allegedly being interviewed on a Welsh regional radio station. The Welsh text is almost identical to the June 2019 Facebook post.
Woman goes to the doctors and says " Doctor...I'm in agony, I've got a problem with my aviaries " Doctor replies " You mean ovaries " Women " No..I've definitely got extreme pain in my aviaries " Doctor " I'm sure you must mean ovaries, anyway remove your knickers and lie on the bed " After a thorough examination down below the doctor removes his rubber gloves and says " Well..... there appears to be be nothing to concern yourself about, however you're right about the aviaries....there's been a cockatoo up there "
Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand,' Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !' The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, She is a pretty lil ting, too....' Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet!' The doctor then delivered another boy and said, Murph, you just had yourself another boy!' Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?' The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.' Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.' She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...' Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ......it's a fek kin' good ting we didn't use WD-40.
Someone asked me, "and now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." "Somewhat shocked, they said "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my ****ing advice, she'll ask me. for i t."
Fact of the week: In the year 2030 you will never be further than 300 yards from a former Watford manager.
A bloke in the pub plays in a tribute band called oc/dc . . . . after gigs they go back and tidy the hotel room.