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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My wife has a terrible skin condition.
    Too much of it.
     
    #18341
  2. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    And I would understand <laugh>
     
    #18342
  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A local radio station in Ireland had a phone in competition for listeners to come up with words used in everyday language that are not in the English dictionary, with the prize being a holiday for two in Bali with spending money.

    A few people phone in to no avail.

    Then James phones in.

    The DJ asked James what his word was (imagine a thick Irish accent).

    James said go-an, spelt out G O A N, go-an.

    The DJ asked James in what context he would use that word in a sentence.

    James replied Go-an f*#k yourself !

    James is immediately cut off amid an explosion of laughter, and the radio station cuts to music for half an hour whilst they all try to compose themselves.

    When they come back on air a few more people phone in to no avail.

    Then Seamus phones in (Seamus is Irish for James btw).

    The DJ asks Seamus what his word is.

    Seamus said smee, spelling out S M E E, smee.

    The DJ asks Seamus in what context he would you use that word.

    Seamus replies “Smee again, go-an f*#k yourself”

    He didn't win, but he should have.
     
    #18343
  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I was sitting in McDonald's with my coffee this morning and asked the young lady opposite me if she had any spare milk.
    She snarled back, "Do you f*cking mind, I'm trying to feed my baby!"
     
    #18344
  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Just the bottom one . . . .

     
    #18346
  7. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  8. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  9. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    This morning I had one of those farts where a little bit of **** comes out...
    I didn't realise it at first but after 2 minutes, I was the only person left in the Jacuzzi...
     
    #18349
  10. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
    She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
    Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck."
    Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
    "Where are you going ?" she asked.
    "To get my teeth!"
     
    #18351
    Draig, Gil T Azell, Whittylad and 3 others like this.
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    I was addicted to the Hokey cokey, but I've turned myself around.

    That's what it's all about.
     
    #18353
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Watched A porn film last night:

    A woman was giving a hand job to a Joiner, Plumber,Electrician & a Plasterer!

    It was called: ' Jack Off all Trades'
     
    #18355
    Draig, Gil T Azell, Robertson and 5 others like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Had a breakthrough this morning.......never buying cheap toilet paper again
     
    #18356
    Draig, Gil T Azell, Robertson and 4 others like this.
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #18357
    Draig, Gil T Azell, Robertson and 6 others like this.
  18. Whittylad

    Whittylad Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant. :emoticon-0140-rofl::emoticon-0140-rofl::emoticon-0140-rofl:
     
    #18358
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  19. Whittylad

    Whittylad Well-Known Member

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    I think I’m going to hell. Can’t help but laugh at that . :emoticon-0136-giggl
     
    #18359
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  20. Sunderpitt

    Sunderpitt Well-Known Member

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    received_596437798601925.jpeg

    Guess what happened next?
     
    #18360

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