Off Topic Lets talk about......Death

Great thread and wonderful to see all views being respected.

I've seen a lot of death first hand over the years with a broad spectrum of experiences.

My first was in a hospital setting when a man cried out 'help me' and collapsed and died in front of me. It was distressing to see.

Years later I was involved with a fella who was cracking jokes til practically his last breath. He faced death with tremendous fortitude and I've often thought I'd like to emulate that strength.

On yet another occasion, I sat with an elderly couple while waiting for an ambulance to convey him to hospital. They had a conversation about what a great life they'd had and thanking each other for the years of companionship. I very nearly cried!

And then there was me. Woke up with an irregular heart beat one morning in 2017 but as only minor decided to go for a 30k bike ride. Not smart! Four days later I was admitted with a very fast heart rate requiring some clever heart surgery.

As the dr was consenting me, he said there was a 1:100 chance of a stroke and a 1:1000 chance if dying. I asked if people really die after which he locked eyes and said, 'oh yes'! Sobering!

I made a classic error as I was waiting for the surgery by writing down some thoughts about my funeral and sending them to a mate instead of my wife so as not to upset her. She was not a happy bunny - but pleased I was still around!

As to faith, I am certainly in that family. For those who've stated they would like to have had a faith, you can!

Very strongly agree that the mode of dying is absolutely key. I'm hoping to go to bed one night and not wake up the next morning. But not yet!

 

my wifes parents lived a sad (to me ) last 10 years of life
it was like they were waiting to die
he had a massive heart attack and died in the arms of my 9 tear old son
she died after basicaly starving herself to death in a care home
they never spent any money on stuff and always seemed to be scrimping
he wouldn't let her get a bathroom heater until she was well into her 70s
even going as far as sharing her meals on wheels as apparently there was more than enough for two
maybe its a generational thing(he went to ww2)parents great depression etc
he was Scottish she was irish
anyway after living and dying like paupers they left behind an estate of 1.5 million dollars

 

Sadly I think it is a generation thing mate. I see it all the time.....
Dunno if you can get iPlayer, but that programme I mentioned earlier really brings home the hardship that generation.

On a side note, thanks for sharing....from your first post on the thread to this one...has made me personally really pleased people are opening up about stuff like this.....we’ve turned ‘death’ into this sad, horrible taboo.......I’d like to change that. Sorry if I sound all ‘new age hippy’...it’s not meant that way......just something I’m getting quite passionate about.

 

Well, if nothing else this thread has brought home to me that I am profoundly unspiritual. Not a problem in itself but not good when I make assumptions about others. Stainsey, partly because I’ve met him, partly because of his politics, and partly because of his current profession, I’ve always assumed to be a warm hearted but hard bastard, turns out he’s out there skipping in the fields communing with his soul.

Programme on radio 4 about to start called The Price of Life, about the value/price of human life - as individuals. Might be interesting. Are some lives worth more than others? Is it worth buying ventilators?

Insurer who paid out for 9/11 very clear -lifetime earnings was the key. Every one got $250k for death plus $100k per spouse and child, with the rest made up by lifetime earning potential. The lowest award was for $850k for someone who earned $20k, the largest $7.5m for a stockbroker. The richer you are the more your life is worth. - its a lot more complicated of course and the bloke who did price the victims of 9/11 was very upfront about it.

Second case study is how NICE decide how a medicine, which could save your life, Is worth paying for.

 

Lol, I like the description and can imagine myself skipping in a field of sunflowers finding my worth .
Personally I think I’ve started to be more thoughtful about ‘life and death’ for 2 main reasons.
Firstly as I’ve got older I’m realising that I’ve reached the ‘top of the hill’ in the journey and now I’m on the downward slope.....I look back at things and events in my life that I can remember clearly, like they were yesterday, and then it dawns on me that in that same time period in the future....I’ll probably be dead.
Secondly, in the last couple of years I’ve been more ‘ up close and personal’ with death and dying. Before this job I’d only ever seen 2 dead bodies ( my dads and my grandads) but now I’ve seen many and had to look into the lifeless eyes of someone who only an hour before was talking and breathing....it all seems so...final ?

Interesting about the value of someone’s life, it always reminds me of that ‘Not the Nine o’clock news’ sketch where they have reports of plane crashes..200 dead....and an Englishman stubbed his toe (or something like that). Always seemed odd to me that we might see a ferry sinking in Bangladesh with 300 dead and give it hardly a second glance, where a second rate celebrity dying here is front page news for weeks.....just the power of the media I guess that decides who is important to us.

 

I listened to that too Stan...a happy lot are we.

The loss adjustors story of the 80 year old who came in to his (the loss adjustor) office, who had lost his son in 9/11...and told him that he didn't want any payout for his sons life as his own life was essentially over and he was just treading water until he died.. The loss adjustor said he understood and the 80 year old basically telling him to F.O as he didn't.
The loss adjustor was quite up front in saying that it was the stupidest thing he had ever said.

 

I also think that with celebrity death, "we" all feel that we know that person in someway as we have seen them in films, shows or in band we like or even sporting event. On the RIP thread, I was very glad to have seen the Stranglers and maybe felt more of a connection there than I would do with a ferry sinking in Bangladesh for example.
This is strangely, an interesting thread and I guess at 52, I too am probably on a slight downward curve. Maybe too old to do some of thing I do but I think of age as just a number.

 

OH, and I have decided that when my time does come, I want my ashes scattered down a road in a place called Margaret's River in Australia. It is a road of wine tasting facilities with a chocolate tasting shop. My final wish is to be the most fattest, drunk ghost ever

 

Was there a year ago last month. Great choice! Loved it there.

 

Just been told a close Paramedic colleague has died suddenly today.....I only saw him a few days ago. Brings all this home.

RIP Ben

 

Sorry to hear that Stainesy. If it was sudden, I assume it wasn't the virus?

 

Haven’t got any details but I would say not.

 

you might want to go easy on the cake yourself mate

 

Sad news indeed, so sorry for you and all his friends and family