Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Steven Toast, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

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    Hey well done Kemps. Must have taken a lot of balls 'coming out'. It's done now and probably the biggest step. Nothing I can add to the great advice on here. Apart from remember your own advice on the post above.... you've got a tough battle ahead and continue to use this board to talk and sound off. Good luck.
    PS And maybe don't worry about quitting the fags for now?
     
    #581
  2. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    I'm hopefully not going to bore you all to death with this, but having read all of this back, I just want to reiterate what I've already said about how much I've appreciated the reaction I've had from all of you.

    One regular poster on here even gave me his phone number and I thought '**** it' and rang him. We talked for I don't know half an hour and he was brilliant. It wasn't even his expertise, but I just felt I needed to talk to someone I don't know.

    This person knows who he is and will read this post. I want him to know that he helped me immensely, but I won't mention his name.

    One thing I expected was some piss taking from a few off here. You know how people can be on social media....

    I was ready for that, but it didn't happen. Not one single snigger.

    So my point is....

    Do not worry about saying what is going on in your life, in your head.

    Talk about it, because all sorts of crap can happen in your own head and until you get it out there, it will only get worse.

    By the way, Steven Toast, Congratulations on making the best thread ever :emoticon-0150-hands
     
    #582
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2020
  3. SW3 Chelsea Tiger

    SW3 Chelsea Tiger Well-Known Member

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    Good luck on your journey mate. It won’t be easy but you will get to your destination
     
    #583
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  4. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    I will mate. I will <ok>
     
    #584
  5. FER ARK

    FER ARK Well-Known Member

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    Stay strong Kemps, keep the positive mental attitude, it’s a fight you can win.
    Good luck<ok>
     
    #585
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  6. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Just catching up and missed your initial post Kemps.

    As others have said you may have taken the biggest step of all already by admitting it, and doing so 'publicly' here too. Well done.

    You'll have bad days for sure, but always remember that everyone in here is behind you and supporting you. If you beat this you'll have a load of people here proud too, but most importantly you'll be around for your family.

    Take care mate, the East Stand are cheering you on.
     
    #586
  7. Ric Glasgow

    Ric Glasgow Well-Known Member

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    Best post of the night...By a country mile!!!
     
    #587
  8. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  9. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    Terrible illness anorexia

    Skeletal photo of Gemma Oaten at height of anorexia battle

    The former Emmerdale star, from Hull, did not have a 'normal' Christmas for 14 years
    Hull actress Gemma Oaten has spoken out about the pressures that Christmas puts on people living with an eating disorder.

    The former Emmerdale star, who has herself been in recovery from anorexia for the past 13 years and says it still affects her every day, took to social media to reveal how it feels to have the disorder during the festive season and the toll it takes on mental health.

    "Xmas is robbed every year for someone with an eating disorder,” she tweeted.

    “It is the single most dreaded day of the year. Food, family food, pressure, food, company, food food food.

    To get the Hull Live headlines every day, simply pop your email address into the sign-up box just beneath the picture at the top of this article.

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    Gemma at the height of her struggle with anorexia as a teenager (Image: Hull Daily Mail)

    "Its the time of year many deteriorate or take their life, as the thought of living through it is too much... (sic)"

    The 36-year-old, best known for playing Rachel Breckle in the ITV soap, shared a photograph of herself when she was struggling with anorexia as a teenager and said that she was 24 hours from death when she was 12.

    Gemma said that the disorder left her feeling "dead inside" and that she did not have a "normal" Christmas for 14 years, the Mirror reports.

    Sharing the picture of her younger smiling self holding a Christmas cake, she said: "This was the first Christmas, it didn't feel like Christmas and I never had a 'normal' one again for 14 years. Here's why...

    "Two months after this photo was taken I was on deaths door with anorexia and life changed forever. You see a smile, but I was dead inside.

    "I was slowly getting more poorly and making this cake for a school project was torture.”

    Gemma has previously revealed that she was close to dying when she was 12 and six years after that experience, she suffered a heart attack.

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    Gemma with her dog, Ruby (Image: Gemma Oaten)
    She has said that the system needs to improve and offer better care for those in need and is trying to bring change through being a patron for her parents' eating disorder support charity, SEED.

    Gemma said: "The system, in my eyes, is not good enough. There's not enough eating disorder units, there's not enough understanding among GPs of what the disorder really is.

    "Early intervention is key and it's still not happening. And that was before lockdown."

    She continued: "For people with an eating disorder, being in lockdown with family is excruciating as you're watched all the time.

    "Then there's the stress of food shopping, with people looking at each other's baskets."

    She said: "I understand people have lost their lives from Covid-19, but there are also the long-term effects on those who haven't got coronavirus but will potentially lose their lives because of their mental health."
     
    #589
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  10. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Poor lass. I haven't seen Emmerdale for years, so I've never seen Gemma, but my sister suffered the same problem. Thankfully she came through that after a couple of years. It's terrible to see, but if you've got the fight and the support around you. You can beat anything.
     
    #590
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2020
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  11. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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    Many years ago attended a talk by her Mum on what had happened / early days of SEED - top people, horrible condition, and massively understood
     
    #591
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  12. Quill

    Quill Bastard

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    I know I'm late to this, but if you ever want a chat Kempton, I'll happily pass over my phone number. I'm in self-isolation at least for the next couple of days so I'm free to answer.

    As someone who constantly feels like ****e, has got the breaking point more than once and been brought back from the brink, and struggles with alcohol a lot, I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm a **** talker (even though I do a podcast), but I can relate.

    Tonight is the first night in several months (I think it has been about 7 or 8 months, though honestly, I've not counted) that I have had alcohol. It's tough, but keeping it to this minimum has done me wonders, I just wish places like my local gym were open, because I would've lost a bunch of weight and gained a lot of health over the past year. I was legitimately on the verge of going back to my local gym on the regular in March, and then, well, Covid happened. ****ing crock of ****e.
     
    #592
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2020
  13. TonyFinnegan'sCocaineHell

    TonyFinnegan'sCocaineHell Well-Known Member

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    I've just sat and read through this thread, and I'm humbled and inspired in equal measure.

    I've suffered from anxiety for years, yet for most of the time I didn't even recognise I had a problem, I genuinely thought all the symptoms were normal everyday behaviour.

    I endured an emotionally abusive relationship for years, my ex partner would belittle me at every opportunity, I had literally no friends, and we spent that much time with her family I hardly saw my own. Nevertheless, it still came as a shock when she announced that she was leaving me in 2014. I guess that like the anxiety I'd not realised how damaged it had made me.

    Anyway, I embraced the single life and got heavily into the local music scene, going to gigs and building up a circle of friends who are as important to me as my own family. The power of music is a great ally in the battle against negative thoughts.

    Anyway, fast forward to 2017, and a friend introduced me to a girl (I'd not even been on a date in the 3 years since) and we hit it off immediately. She was funny, intelligent and devastatingly gorgeous. It felt so good to be wanted again, because loneliness was another issue for me, there's been times when just the thought of the word popping into my head has been enough to set me off, and the need to be accepted and wanted is another trait of anxiety.

    2 months into our relationship, I was on top of the world, and because I'd spent a lot of my life struggling to express my feelings fully to people close to me, I shed those inhibitions and told her that I loved her. Unfortunately, I'd jumped in two footed, she still had problems with connecting with people due to a previous traumatic relationship, and she didn't feel the same. We drifted apart, although we still remain good friends to this day.

    But it hit me hard, and I took to hedonism in a big way. I hit the bottle as best I could, seeing as I drove for a living, but any opportunity to get blind drunk was grabbed with both hands. Around this time I started struggling with sleep, so to get through the working day I was drinking between 5 and 10 cups of coffee a day, and my eating habits also descended into mass junk food consumption.

    I still couldn't see what I was doing to myself. I went away for a weekend at a music festival with some friends and stood and watched the bands but not hearing the music, just in a trance like state. The following day as we drove home I stared out the window in near silence, nothing like the chatty, upfront bloke I'd always been. My best friend messaged me that night saying she was worried about me, but I assured her that I was fine, and she had nothing to worry about. I had it all under control, oh yes.

    2 weeks later, it came to a head. The headaches and lack of sleep became too much to bear so I went to an emergency doctors and was prescribed with hypertension. 2 days later I went to my own doctors, and they bundled me into an ambulance because my blood pressure was 200/130, stroke material. I spent a full day at HRI as they battled to lower the pressure, and as I lay there on a bed in a cubicle I burst into tears. A nurse came in and I just opened up and told her everything. I think there's something in speaking to complete strangers about your problems, maybe it's something about not wanting your friends and family to see how vulnerable you are, I don't know.

    I came out of hospital that day, gave up caffeine, ate healthily for the first time in years, and regulated my alcohol intake. I go weeks, even months without a drink these days. I've had occasional wobbles with my mental health, but have developed coping mechanisms to deal with them. I've had 5 months without working due to another health issue which led to me being made redundant, but I've coped with it remarkably well. I know for a fact if it had happened in previous years, I'd have really struggled. I start a new job today, and I can't wait.

    As always, talking is the first and biggest step. From there, it's like an out of date onion, you peel away the rotten layers until you finally find the clean, fresh minded version of yourself.

    And always remember, the darkest hour of your life is only 60 minutes long.

    Peace and love ✌️❤️
     
    #593
  14. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    #594
  15. Sir Cheshire Ben

    Sir Cheshire Ben Well-Known Member

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    Hope the job works out.
     
    #595
  16. Ric Glasgow

    Ric Glasgow Well-Known Member

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    Great post to read.You've battled your inner demons and won...Enjoy your new job and live life to the full.
     
    #596
  17. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Thanks for sharing your story, and I'm really pleased to hear you've come through it all as you seem to have done. I would like to think you've given hope and inspiration to others that are perhaps feeling similar, but don't feel able to share on here for their own personal reasons.
     
    #597
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  18. AlRawdah

    AlRawdah Well-Known Member

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    Great post Tony, it confirms something I suspected. You're a good man and it's great to see your progress. If you can tell me how you kicked junk food I'd be grateful!
     
    #598
  19. TonyFinnegan'sCocaineHell

    TonyFinnegan'sCocaineHell Well-Known Member

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    I've not kicked it in its entirety, but at the time I was sliding downhill I was eating at least 5 takeaways a week, on top of cafe and sandwich shop dinners. Overtime at work was plentiful, and I was all over the East Riding and North Yorkshire earning more money than I needed, working for upto 14 hours a day. Cooking was the last thing on my mind.
     
    #599
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  20. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    Wow mate that is one hell of a post. Hats off to you and hope the job goes well too.

    I've said before this is one of the best and most important threads on here. There are some bloody amazing posters on here too.

    Take care ... :emoticon-0137-clapp:emoticon-0137-clapp
     
    #600
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