I think this has been a very worthwhile thread and the last page of posts were not in the spirit of this thread, they’ve been removed.
I've had to leave the UK as my mom has become very ill I was planning on leaving near Christmas, but the last week has been very chaotic She's been diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia and went from being showings signs of being bit fragile to having a cardic arrest within a week. I booked the first available flight home on Wednesday, but haven't been allowed to see her until today. She's been moved out of the intensive care now and hopefully they can proceed with the cancer treatment It's surreal to see her like this tho, from being fit and always on the go (she can't relax, always got something going, 65 years old), to being this weak. One little bright moment today actually involved City "Do you support any football team?" she wispered suddenly "Yes mom, Hull..." "Ah...Hull City", she wispered (with a smile as she remembered it from before" "Exactly, Hull City", I responded with a smile "How are they doing?" "Quite bad" "You always say that. I hope Hull City do better soon", she wispered again with a smile and closed her eyes to rest She goes from remembering the most specific things to being very confused (kept on asking about who took care of our cat that passed away more than 10 years agi) Very hard situation in general as I've had to drop everything and try to sort everything back home Just hoping she gets better soon......
It will take time mate. Once the treatment starts the real battle will begin. It’s a serious worry and you will need to be strong. I don’t know what help you will have, but whatever is offered take it, whatever you need ask for it and if you need. to talk privately just PM someone from here. Hoping for the very best. Tale care.
Brought tears to my eyes this, mate. Mainly due to memories of both my Mam and Dad. Good luck to your Mom, to you and to your family. Stay strong and remember we are all here for you if we're any use. I mean most people on here are ****ing useless at the best of times but you never know. Just ask. Ernie. xx
You’ve got my number pal, if there’s anything this end needs sorting. Hope your Mum is back on her feet soon.
Febbos, you'll find the strength to deal with this from somewhere. It's ridiculously hard going I didn't think I could deal with it at first, but I did and you will too x
So sorry to hear that Febbos No doubt some real challenges ahead, but keep talking when you need to Take care.
This is both beautiful and sad at the same time. I hope you don't mind me saying this. Thank you for sharing, I must admit I got quite emotional reading this. Hope everything goes well mate. Take care.
Must be so difficult living away from her. I know when my dad was terminally ill and living alone (he was actually terminally ill for 5-6 bloody years!) I was the only 'child' living close by. Everyone thought I had the the hardest task living close by, as the burden of support fell mainly on me. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. One of my brother's lived in Scotland. He's self employed in seasonal work so a lot of the year, really struggled to get down, and so was wracked with guilt. When he did get down, he tried to make amends and go over the top to 'do his bit to support' (such as re arranging care packages which didn't need rearranging etc). Sadly it led to a lot of family arguments. To this day my brothers don't talk to each other. They were once very close. So there will be days ahead when you maybe can't get back to see her. You mustn't beat yourself up, sometimes circumstances don't allow.
It's sad that you have family arguments about this, Askew. It happened when my mam died, over funeral arrangements and the wake and all that. I didn't want that at all, so for the sake of family unity and love, I swallowed my feelings and bent over backwards to put things right, even though I knew none of it was my fault. I took one for the team if you like. Things have been perfect ever since, we all get on like the Grizwalds now Sometimes you have to do these things to make it beautiful again. It's so worth it.
similar thing with my in laws, they were as close a family you could ever see, annoyingly close at times living in each others pockets. the Nan passed away and as my wifes mother had also passed away , her "share" came to my wife and siblings. well you have never seen a family turn so quick, her Aunties and Cousins not spoke to her since, we have 2 kids they have never met and they even crossed the road to avoid us the other week. and the worst thing is it was all over about 5k , sad really as she pretends she isnt that bothered but i know she is deep down.
Just out of interest is there anyone on here who people can talk to without putting it on a message board?.
Quite a few of us use the message function and discuss these sort of things privately. Just click on the Start a Conversation. There is no need to give your name etc. And it is all very private.
yes i was wondering if there was anyone that people can talk to who understands and can give some sort of advice.
Having posted these questions if there is anyone who can help they'll probably private message you, keep an eye out for notifications. Good luck.