Rival watch

Was that written by Montgomery Burns?

"Chelsea won the title two seasons ago. Excellent! You now have 30 seconds to get out of here. Smithers! Release the hounds!"

 

52 words, 242 characters - and two of those are unnecessary commas!

 

Should have outsourced that to Trump.
He would have got it all in one Twatter message.

 

Failed Antonio Conte? You're FIRED!
Chelsea in the Europa League is very unfair! Sad!
The new manager will be the best ever! Believe me! MCGA!

 

'Liverpool have signed Switzerland forward Xherdan Shaqiri from Stoke City on a five-year deal, after triggering his £13m release clause.'

His temperament and attitude have occasionally come into question, but at £13m that has got to be good business?

On his day he's an exceptional talent, only 26, has won a CL and has experience of the PL.

Not sure he would have fitted in at a Poch Spurs', but Klippety obviously thinks he will get a consistent level out of him.

 

I think its a good deal as well, The best corner taker in the world bar none. I would have liked Spurs to have signed him. Another 70 minutes a game merchant, but well worthwhile, providing he is not on £100k per week. Do we have contract details?

 

Haven't seen figure quoted yet but it would be on the north side of that surely? If they only paid £13m for him then you know the wages are inflated.

 

Trippier (cough)

 

Tripps is excellent, but watch Shaqiri.

 

Lamela's got a lovely left foot on him. The free kick that he put in for Toby to head in for our second against United @ WHL in 2015/16 was sensational. The ball had so much curl on it. If he was given more scope to take free kicks and corners and spent the time practising them, it could only be a good thing.

In this WC, I've been aghast to see Trippier's set piece delivery in comparison to what Christian Eriksen has been consistently serving up for the last few seasons. How the **** have we not been using this weapon? I'm a tad miffed.

 

Ben Davies was arguably our best corner taker last season. Mind you, the bar wasn't exactly set high!!

 

It's sort of like how we never seemed to use Huddlestone as a set piece taker, even though on the few occasions where he did take one he pretty much got an assist every single time.

 

Are we missing something here?
'During three years with Napoli, Sarri helped the club to two second-placed finishes in Serie A and won the Coach of the Year award in 2017.'

That's it? That's the sum total of a 30+ year career?

Sounds like a club downsizing.....

 

Coach of the year, the chavs need someone to park the bus.

 

Outstanding!

 

The gossip pages make for some fun reading today...

Chelsea's Belgium goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois says the contract he has been offered by the Blues is "different than I can have" elsewhere. The 26-year-old has been linked with Real Madrid.

Courtois says of Chelsea team-mate and compatriot Eden Hazard: "Wherever I go, Hazard must come along."

Meanwhile, at the Santiago Burgerbun...

 

Scene - The Arsenal PR Department after the World Cup Final......

"The World Cup's been a ****ing disaster. Harry Kane comes away with the Golden Boot. Kieran Trippier has become a national icon. Spurs players score more goals than players of any other club. The winning French team contains Pogba, Kante and is captained by Hugo Lloris. WHAT THE **** ARE WE GOING TO DO? All we've got is Ozil proving how **** he is and how much we're overpaying the ****. Someone must have an idea?"

"Well Boss,..........couldn't we pretend that we didn't sell that useless bastard Giroud.........?"

 

From our academy aged just 9 to God knows where.
From there to captain of England.

And now ... WC "golden boot" winner!

What a journey you've had, Harry Kane - we're all so pleased for you

 

From Chelsea to England Captain.....won nothing
From Chelsea to Aston Villa....won nothing

What a journey you've had JT.....racist kunt.

 

Please rearrange the following words to form a sentence: mentality, club, small