Too soon? As a great man once said “draw a line under it and move on” as quickly as possible I say. This is why we are going to beat Liverpool 1-0: Form: Liverpool could only score in the first half on Friday and our defence was impregnable in the first half. Liverpool conceded in the second half against Norwich. We weren’t well. See below. Fitness: Our captain and most influential player was taken ill on the bus. He was sitting closest to Angus, Jack and Jannik who only started to show symptoms of ****ting themselves in the 63rd minute. They’re all ok now (although Jack may pull a sickie after reading on here that yet again everything is his fault) Liverpool are going to Turkey to play Chelsea in a pointless game on Wednesday in ridiculously hot conditions and a Southampton firm owned by Pierre’s brother are doing the catering. Brexit: Boris Johnson has paid 100M to each Premiership team to agree that only British players can score more than 1 goal in a game. Some people (ok everyone) think Boris is a complete twat but after only 1 week the top 4 goal-scorers are British. No deal next Boris! He also enshrined in law that the team with the most British players must be allowed to equalize through Billy Sharp. Anyway Saints have 3 British strikers, Liverpool don’t have any. (mind you, Jurgen was heard asking his staff this week if they could get Danny back and if anyone still had Lallana’s telephone number but they can’t and they didn’t) New players: Kev will definitely be playing. British / Austrian and the only player Ralph has recruited (and he’ll score the only goal in the 89th minute) for us!