Sausage Sandwich

This is an old riff from the Danny Baker show.

You order a sausage sandwich and have three choices.

Is it brown sauce, red sauce or no sauce?

No other options will be considered. No vegan sausages, no squares, no slices, no baps, no barm cakes, no gluten free soda bread rolls, no barbeque sauce, no mustard, no mayonnaise, no gentleman's relish. Just Brown, Red or None. These are the rools.

 

WTF is a sausage sandwich??

Roll and snarler or peace and snarler, plain bread only.

Broon sauce on both.

Dont @t me

 

Any guy that wants to put a sausage in his mouth is an inherent poofter.

 

I call it a banger sarnie

 

I went into a shop once and asked for a bottle of brown sauce,shopkeeper replied "HP" and I said no,I'll pay for it now.

 

How much was it?

 

Did they not have any Daddies?

 

Whose your daddy? Not a fan of brown or red sauce but like mustard of my sausage sandwich.

 

Daddies sauce all over my banger. Yum yum

 

I love mustard.

I was thinking though do you get any other mustards than French and English, I've never seen any and I'm a Man Of This Flat Earth?

 

Honey
Dijon
American

American is probably just a ****e version of English just like American cheese.

 

Dijon is French you ****ing plank.

 

Need to add fried onions to it, but brown sauce is the sauce of choice.

For fried egg rolls/sandwiches may I suggest some chilli flakes? Thank you.

 

And wholegrain

 

You're going into hot dog territory but nothing wrong with that.

 

Nothing but the grain

 

Sounds like a certain someone's never tickled his tonsils with a girthy Cumberland

 

Poof.

In fact flaky poof.

 

Not at all, I am talking about a square sausage, but onions on normal sausages are cracking too

 

I should have been more specific. I meant from countries other than France and England.

As fatty correctly pointed out there is American mustard as well but I agree with him, probably a namby, pamby poofters version of the wonderful English Coleman's mustard.