Some Fun For a Friday Afternoon

please log in to view this image

 

Hit the road Trump...

 

please log in to view this image

 

As Rees Mogg said in parliament this morning - "we've got our fish back - our British fish, and they're better and happier for it".
Caused support for Scottish Independence to go up two points...

 

please log in to view this image

 

That's brilliant!

 

I was sent this by a friend:

– [While the orchestra is tuning] “I don’t know the name of this piece, but they always open with it.”

– [Before a performance of Pachelbel’s Canon] “What do you mean there is no cannon? That’s the only reason I came to this thing!”

– [During a performance of Turandot, after ‘Nessun Dorma’]: “The guy playing Pavarotti didn’t even look like him”

– [Before a performance of Schubert’s ‘Unfinished’ Symphony] “Are we supposed to clap at the end, or...?”

– [At a Beethoven concert] “And which one of them is Beethoven?”

– [After a concert of Mozart symphonies] “I thought there would be some singing as well.”

– “My husband has a very loud sneeze. We were at a piano concert and when he sneezed, one of the pianists was startled right off the piano bench.”

– [A child at a performance of Rhapsody in Blue] “They stole the airplane commercial music!”

– [A child listening to the Dvořák Cello Concerto] “Daddy, can we go home when the old man has sawed through the box?” (My favourite)

– [A small child in the Royal Opera House foyer before a family performance] “But mummy, will they sing *all* the time?”

– [Woman on the phone during the interval of a concert where Krystian Zimmerman was playing Chopin] “I thought he was taking me shopping.”

– [Boy talking to his mum] “Why do they have to taste the wood thing before they tie it to their instrument? Does it taste good? What flavours do they have?”

– [During a performance of Aida] “A man in front of me slept through the whole thing, woke up right at the imprisonment and loudly asked ‘What happened? Did someone die?

 

Not being in any way musical, I'll bite. What wood thing gets tied to their instruments?

 

The reed used to play an oboe, clarinet or bassoon. I had to think about it for a bit too and I am musical (obviously - I like The Who)

 

Thanks for that, I can now pretend to be knowledgeable.

Am going to pass the cello one on to my son in Madrid, he plays the cello and should get a laugh out of it.

 

If ever there was a more aptly named UKIP candidate...

 

I can think of a few others, but not suitable for this civilised board

 

Actually I remembered this one a while after posting that. Here's an article on the former UKIP leader Dick...

https://www.theguardian.com/politic...uits-ukip-leader-after-less-than-three-months

 

please log in to view this image

 

Remember, locked down comrades, under curfew, meetings banned, no travel, no pubs, no restaurants, no shops, borders closed.... Half of Europe lived like this for 50 years. Under Socialism.

 

Communism, not socialism. Just sayin'...

 

Just trying to make up for the loss of SH