Match Day Thread Southampton vs Portugal, 12pm Sunday, 14th February (Amazon Prime)

Welcome to a special Laces' Match Thread. Please get used to them, as they'll be now with you for the rest of the season.

And what a wonderful start point it is, as the mighty Saints face Portugal, pitting Ralph Hasenhuttl up against Old Nathan Redmond.


Ralph Hasenhuttl


Old Nathan Redmond

The Portuguese will still be smarting after their heavy defeat to the Saints just three days earlier in the FA Cup. Possibly.

After a run of horrific luck, Hasenhuttl's brave troops sprung a surprise in the previous game, by using Fraser Forster to line up a selection of these local treats at his near post, thus distracting the Portuguese strikers every time they got too near to the goal line. Forster himself was unable to get down quick enough to pinch any himself, and so a remarkable new tactic was discovered.


Forster's Delights


With further great fortune this match falls on Valentine's Day, and yet early enough not to upset any partners who might want to...well...not go out exactly, because you can't, but stay in for loving time. The fact of the matter is that I can only remember magnificent victories on Valentine's Day for the Saints, mainly because Valentine himself was, of course, a Saint. One of the coldest, yet warmest matches I've ever been to was when we beat Liverpool 4-2 with a Hatty from Matty. For some reason I can't find it on YouTube though. Which is annoying.

Saints will of course have to watch out for a number of threats from Portugal including boxer, Adama Traore, who quite frankly might actually eat one of our fullbacks, and we can't afford that right now.

Adama Traore's Top Ten Knockouts

I have no idea who the referees are, but hopefully it isn't this man -


Referee, Lee Mason

Most excitingly from a Saints point of view, there's a chance we might get a first look at summer signing, Mohammed Salisu in defence -


Mohammed Salisu in training this week


It's likely to be a good game between two attacking, but currently a bit rubbish, sides. With Danny Ings potentially off to Manchester Saint-Germain at the end of the season, will we see a return to Premier League winning ways?

Of course we bloody will. It's a Laces thread.

See you next week pop-pickers x

 

Portugal

I am rather partial to a genuine pasteis de nata though

 

I'd never have guessed, Fats

 

Will this do instead of the Valentine’s Scouse massacre, Laces ?

 

Perfection.

 

Walked into that!!

 

Me too. Gert lush, as they hardly ever say in Lisbon.

 

Great thread.

Games coming thick and fast, this being just 3 days after playing them away.

Hope we get back from the Algarve on time.

 

I'd forgotten how much George Burley enjoyed himself during games?

 

How did we not go up that year?

 

Billy “go and kick the sh1t out of that kid Bale” Davies

 

Great example right there of why VAR is awful. That game would be about 1-0 these days, and we’d still be playing it. (Certainly we’d still be getting the rulers out for Marek’s first two). And everyone would feel like they enjoyed football that little bit less.

 

Funny isn’t it? Because that was exactly my view when I watched it ..... at least 3 of the goals would have been chalked off after all the lines had been drawn and Mike Dean had consulted the screen.

 

Oh dear. We've got the referee who was on VAR duty at Old Trafford.

Referee: Graham Scott. Assistants: Darren Cann, Mark Scholes. Fourth official: Darren England. VAR: Martin Atkinson. Assistant VAR: Constantine Hatzidakis.

 

Derby ****ing County. And how **** were they?

 

I'm glad we didn't go up. The next few years would have never happened if we had (The bad, the ugly and then the insane upwards journey).

 

Painfully I remember listening to it whilst away on holiday, it was more a question of one week we play like that v Wolves then lose over the two legs and can't begin to understand the difference. You're right about Derby!

 

Ah but having been at that Wolves game and the two Derby play-off games, I can tell you we were very poor against Wolves - they played us off the park, yet everything we hit went in. Wolves fans applauded their team off at the end. Bizarre day.

In the first leg against Derby, we destroyed them for half an hour (well Bale did) and then I watched Billy Davis come to the touchline, whistle and point at Bale. They then kicked us off the park. Second leg we played really well apart from the first ten minutes and should have gone through. Horrible, horrible night.

 

I am fascinated my Nuno's beard. I have no idea how he managed to grow one that is effectively keeping 16th century facial hair styles alive. Every time I see him on TV I think that he is missing a ruff and one of those tear-drop shaped ear-rings. If the camera dropped down during a his interviews, I am convinced that he will probably be wearing gold and black coloured pantaloons. We could imagine him smoking from one of those unfeasibly long clay pipes.

Does he have the best ever beard in football ?

 

No, that accolade belongs to Mr Ostlund.