Thanks Celtic

I put a metal pipe across some railway tracks. I was a bad wee ****e.

 

A fella I went to college with told us about a time him and his mates were drinking down at a train station.

Said a yappy wee dog was on the other platform and saw people so jumped down on to the tracks to cross over. An express train flew past and squashed the dog. The sick **** that he was got down on to the tracks and lifted the dogs severed head up by the collar to find out who owned it.

He said it was basically his fault as he was calling it over. When he told the owners he said they gave him £20 for doing the right thing.

Thought he was talking **** until i asked a mate of his who confirmed it.

Sick bastard

 

I never went as far as that.

I picked my bird up last weekend from a hen night, and there were ****s pushing each other onto the road in front of my car. This big fat bastard had a glass and lined up to throw it at my windscreen. I put my clutch down and put the accelerator to the floor. Engine roared and this boy shat himself. I think he might actually have dropped a log in his pants. Glass smashed at his feet and he immediately fell to the ground in a ball Funniest reaction I've seen I think Down went the passenger window and I rolled past in 1st gear giving him abuse.