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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex Nope, no more booze for me Sorry, but you're not really my type Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Liverpool striker? A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Suddenly he hears someone say, "Hey, nice face!" The man looks up to try to find out who said it, but no one was around. "Hey! Nice arse!" The man looks up again, but there's nobody there. "Hey! big muscles!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him. The bartender replies, "It's not me; it must be the nuts they're complimentary."
Tail of mouse Eye of cat Head of newt and wing of bat. Not Halloween, a list of reasons why the council closed our KFC.
There is a new girls' doll out on the market. It comes with no shoes, no clothes, no house, no car and no farm.It's called Zim-barbie.
Britain and America have always had this special relationship. The special relationship being that neither of us could be arsed to learn French.
Why is business so hard. I'm closing my restaurant this week. I've advertised on the TV, radio, newspapers and even sent out fliers with no success. It's called ''the G spot''. Nice food, lovely restaurant and good prices. Everyone has heard about it but no one can find it.