A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass. He says: “So what’s bothering you?” She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?” "Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
How long is this social distancing meant to be going on for? My kids keep trying to get back into the house..........
A Catholic priest bumps into his friend the vicar, the vicar says "you know it's terrible someone stole my bike it's not where I normally leave it you think even thieves would leave a vicars bike alone" the priest says" you know what you should do, on Sunday give a sermon on the Ten Commandments but when you get to thou shalt not steal really got to town, hellfire and damnation that sort of thing, it may make whoever took your bike feel guilty and bring it back" the following week the priest meets the vicar riding his bike and says " I see you got your bike back did the sermon work? "In a way" says the vicar "I did what you said and did my sermon on the Ten Commandments but when I got to thou shalt not commit adultery I remembered where I left my bike!!!