The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10801
  2. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Classic!
     
    #10802
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10803
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10804
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Bill, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.
    "What happened to you?" asked his wife.
    "I had a terrible day" replied Bill.
    "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep.
    When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection.
    Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection.
    So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
    "I see" said his wife, "that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?"
    Bill replied: "Wrong room."
     
    #10805
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10806
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10807
    San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10808
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10809
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Little Johnny asked for a bike for his Birthday. His dad said: "We'd get you one but our mortgage is £80,000 and your mum has lost her job."

    Next day little Johnny walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks: "Where you going son?"

    Little Johnny replied: "I walked past your room last night and heard you tell mum you were pulling out, then I heard mum tell you to wait coz she was coming too, I'm not staying here on me own with an £80,000 mortgage and no fu*king bike!"
     
    #10810
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10811
    Gordon Armstrong likes this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm sure there's a cream for that.....

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    #10812
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10813
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #10814
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #10815
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Seems legit....

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    #10816
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Went to Bosworth battlefield yesterday.
    There’s a plaque in the ground there that says King Richard the 3rd fell here.
    I’m not surprised. I nearly tripped over it myself!
     
    #10817
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Further to my efforts of growing my Stella Artois tree it's coming along nicely. It’s got buds....

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    #10818
  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #10819
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Off to University in an attempt to improve my Cuppa Soup making technique.

    I'm doing a Bachelors Degree.
     
    #10820

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