1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 681 of 748
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery.
    "Oh, no," said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. "Was it with Marie Brown?"
    "I'd rather not say who it was."
    "Was it with Betty Smith?"
    "I'd rather not say," says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While leaving the church, Joe's friend asks if he received absolution.
    "Yes, and two very good leads!"
     
    #13601
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 8, 2023
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,386
    Likes Received:
    225,151
    upload_2023-3-9_10-24-52.png
     
    #13602
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 9, 2023
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,386
    Likes Received:
    225,151
    upload_2023-3-9_18-33-17.jpeg
     
    #13603
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 9, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    Met a gypsy girl last night.

    She asked me do I want to go back to hers for a good time. She wasn’t kidding, I went on the dodgems, waltzer, ghost train and Big Dipper and came home with a goldfish.
     
    #13604
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    Why do women wear panties with flowers on them ?

    In loving memories of all the faces that have been buried there.....
     
    #13605
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,386
    Likes Received:
    225,151
    upload_2023-3-10_14-29-54.png
     
    #13606
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 10, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13607
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2023
    San Diego likes this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13608
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2023
  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,386
    Likes Received:
    225,151
    upload_2023-3-10_22-42-44.png
     
    #13609
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 10, 2023
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,809
    Likes Received:
    114,886
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13610
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 11, 2023
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    Sam died. His Will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
    "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased," she said.
    "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"
    "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
    "No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
    Helen answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church.
    The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
    Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"
    "Two and a half carats!"
     
    #13611
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13612
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13613
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13614
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13615
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13616
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,386
    Likes Received:
    225,151
    upload_2023-3-12_14-42-45.png
     
    #13617
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 12, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13618
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    New Match of the Day presenter........
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13619
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13620
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
Page 681 of 748
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page