The Hunt For Agent Bruce - The Search Goes On!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?

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It is now 131 long days since Agent Bruce disappeared from the land of not606, and the time has come to do something about it.I have decided to use my 4000th post for the forces of good and make an appeal for your help in tracking down this man.

Have you seen him? Have you heard from him? Are you hiding him in your dungeon (JPF) ?

Nobody knows where Agent Bruce has gone. The circumstances of his disappearance remain a mystery.

Police have drawn up a list of suspects who may be responsible for Agent Bruce's absence.



THE SUSPECTS

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Alan Pardew


Agent Bruce was known to be a staunch critic of Mr Pardew, and the possibility that Agent Bruce has been kidknapped by the Cockney Mafia cannot be ruled out. However, the authorities remain baffled due to the lack of a ransom demand Has AB been Pardewed?

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Sepp Blatter

Has Agent Bruce fallen foul of the dark and mirky world of FIFA and been bundled off in one of Mr Blatter's brown envelopes? Nobody knows. However, Agent Bruce's last communication with the outside world was to utter the fateful words "I didn't think you were allowed to say Sep Blatter on not606." Curioser and curioser. The mystery deepens.

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The Judean People's Front

There is no evidence that JPF was involved, but he is a slimy, sick and twisted piece of work - so in the absence of evidence to the contrary police plan to pin Agent Bruce's disappearance on JPF just for the hell of it.




It is imperative that we find Agent Bruce. The board misses his posts and his commitment to the cause.

Finally, if you are out there AB then find a way of getting in touch. Try and find a phone, send up smoke signals or a flare, shout in a really loud voice till the neighbours complain, or, if all of that fails, post a reply to this thread. We will send help. We will break you out of Pardew's Prison, Blatter's Bunker or JPF's Dungeon of Shame.

In the meantime, all we can do is hope...

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I vote JPF.

Have exchanged a few texts with AB over recent weeks. Seems OK, although he didn't say a lot.
Will try him again tomorrow.

 

Congrats on the 4,000th post (whipper snapper).

 

Tell him to get his fat hairy arse back here then!

 

I didn't know he had a fat, hairy arse.












How do you?

 

Albert told me.

 

I suppose it must be from when they used to 'hang out' together at Fenwick's.

 

Now that's something that would cause an altogether different kind of wanted poster!

 

Yes... AB sent those texts... That's right... AB... Not somebody with his phone... Not someone with a shame dungeon...


You know guys, I'm sick and tired of people assuming, just because I have a purpose built Dungeon of Shame, that somehow necessitates that I'm some kind of nefarious lunatic and that I'm slowly kidnapping posters, one by one, in order to build a live-action-sex version of Not606 at home. In fact I resent it.

 

Well he did say "I can't really talk right now, I'm a bit tied up."

 

Sent a text over to him myself telling him Obi was pregnant.

Cracking thread fella.

5* from me.

 

Oh dear... Looks like someone's going to get a bit of euphemistic "neg repping" tonight...

Not that that person is AB... Who isn't in my Dungeon of Shame... Obviously.

 

Oh and ****ing well done on the 4,000 post.

 

I blame Trevor.

 

I blame DT. Not Debuchy's Tattooist. The other one. She buggered off and the other ladies left too. AB was a lady's man.

And I blame whoever it was who was dating her at the time who pissed her off so much she ran away. Let's get that bastard

 

There were ladies?

here?

real ones?

 

There was once several... Geordie Lass in The Fen, LTF, Lady Eleanor (saw her on earlier Yayayayayayayayayayay... but then she left ) and I can't remember the other one


Needless to say the last one, whatever her name was, was a decepticon goblin of some description.

 

Don't go blaming me FFS.

 

LTF.

GLITF and lady E still post.
Haven't seen Mrs Magpie for a bit.

 

I'm glad to hear he's been texting people, if anyone gets hold of him give him my wishes n that. (Not my actual wishes, for they all involve rachel riley, and I'm keeping them)