Off Topic The 'Like' Brothel

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Dec 27, 2014.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2501
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2502
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    A Golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to hospital.
    Just before he was put under, the Surgeon popped in to see him.
    "I have some good news and some bad news."
    The Surgeon tells him.
    "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
    “Oh God no," the man cries.
    "My Golfing is over.
    Please Doc, what's the good news?"
    "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before go ahead with the transplant."
    "Go for it Doc, as long as I can play Golf again."
    The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the Golf Course when he bumped into the Surgeon.
    "Hi, how's the new arm?" The surgeon asks.
    "Just great," the Golfer replies.
    "I'm playing the best Golf of my life.
    My new arm has a much finer touch and my Putting has really improved."
    “That's great."
    "Not only that, My handwriting has improved, learned how to sew my own clothes and even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
    "That’s unbelievable, I'm glad to hear the transplant was such a great success.
    Are you having any side effects?"
    "Well, just two really," the Golfer told him.
    "I have trouble Parallel Parking and every time have an erection get a headache!"
     
    #2503
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2504
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    When I was in the pub last night I overheard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on a Aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman!

    What a pair of sexist prats. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing is it?
     
    #2505
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    On the chest of a barmaid from Sale
    We're tattooed the prices of ale
    And on her behind
    For the sake of the blind
    Exactly the same but in Braille
     
    #2506
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2507
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2508
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    Apparently the gentleman who invented the anagram has died.

    May he "erect a penis".......
     
    #2509
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2510
    GeordieHalfbreed likes this.

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2511
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2512
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2513
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2514
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2515
  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    Start my new job tomorrow.

    I travel around Circuses and Fairs to tell the owners when their coconut stalls are getting too old.

    I'm the shy retiring type.
     
    #2516
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    Decided to part with my blow up doll.

    Do you think I should let her down gently?
     
    #2517
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    New
    There were three native Indian women. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant.

    The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.

    This just goes to prove that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
     
    #2518
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2519
    Albert's Chip Shop likes this.
  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    82,382
    Likes Received:
    148,758
    The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.

    It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

    Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week
     
    #2520

Share This Page