Off Topic The Sullivan & Gold Comedy Corner

West Ham have issued life bans to those who invaded the pitch against Burnley and those who have been identified as throwing coins at members of the club's board. Absolutely the right decision.

However, just remember that if you threaten violence and intimidate innocent men, women and children who are non-board members and players, outside the stadium, you get to dictate policy within the club. A lesson for us all...

 

Surely the Monopolies & Mergers Commission would have something to say about that, given that technically qualified as a takeover bid...

 

If West Ham are going to ban anyone that runs on the pitch and embarrasses the club, then they're going to run out of players very quickly.

 

So true!

 

Well this has been hidden away very well, both behind The Times' paywall and at the bottom of the BBC gossip page...

David Sullivan used West Ham to illegally avoid paying £700k tax

David Sullivan illegally avoided £700,000 in tax as he funnelled money into West Ham United after his purchase of the club, The Times can reveal. Sullivan, 69, has been ordered to pay back the money after a court ruled that he deliberately tried to benefit from the transfer of £2 million from his family company in 2010.

The ruling could not have come at a worse time for the West Ham co-owner, who was the subject of a protest by fans at the club’s last home game at the London Stadium, when he was forced to leave the directors’ box after being hit by a coin.

 

Sullivan - a tax avoider! Shock! Horror! Who would have thought that!!
In other breaking news, a bear reveals its arborial ablution habits and the Pope concedes to not being Protestant!

 

Perhaps the trouble was concocted in order to be
hit by a sufficient number of coins that would in
total cover the likely tax bill.

 

Also worthy of note is this little nugget from an interview with Karrunt Brady in today's Guardian

I wonder if she’s ever torn a strip off Sullivan over his views on women. What did she say, for example, when she discovered that he had been a patron of the Presidents Club – the men-only charitable trust that held galas where businessmen were recently caught groping female hostesses who had been asked, in advance, to sign non-disclosure agreements?

She looks aghast. “I don’t think he was a patron,” she says. “Absolutely not. No, absolutely not. He attended many, many years ago, but he didn’t like it and never went again.” Are you sure? “100%.” She asked him? “No, he just mentioned it in passing.”

She answers with such conviction that I assume I have got it wrong. But later I check the Presidents Club brochure that emerged after the event. Sure enough, Sullivan is named as a patron. Although it is true he did not attend this year’s gala, his son Jack – managing director of West Ham Ladies – did.

 

I guess he was too busy groping her to have time for a gig like that.

 

Today has been a bumper day in Spammerland. Mark Noble has implored the unfaithful to back the team in order that the club can avoid relegation. Unfortunately, Noble is persona non-grata after interrupting a fan's stroll on the pitch and is now seen as nothing more than a mouthpiece for the Gold-Sullivan-Brady regime. Relegation is seen by many as preferable to continuing to fill the pockets of 'you know who.'

On top of this, a disabled season ticket holder, who sits in the seats in front of the holding cell....sorry, Directors Box, has been told that he is being moved so that barriers can be erected to keep the very angry from the very greedy during the remaining home games. He has been offered a cheaper seating option with a worse view and declined it. Maybe they'll allege that he has breached stadium rules and ban him?

 

Noble should just be counting his chickens that he’s not facing an assault charge.

Regards the Directors Box ‘incident’ I was talking to a mate in the US who says that watching the masses gather below the the Dildo Bros and start their coin-tossing was like watching an episode of the Walking Dead! Certainly a Zombi Apocalypse.......

 

It was nothing like an episode of The Walking Dead.

It wasn't written like some Buzzfeed clickbait article for a start...

 

Tax evader. Important difference.

 

Agreed, although the difference is now regarded as notional.....

 

Tax evasion is illegal, and incur carry custodial sentences.

 

I know - I was being flippant - hence the emoticon

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43543273

Perhaps being libellous is more appropriate ...

 

Could have been, had it not been for the fact that I stated ‘avoider’ in my original comments rather than ‘evader’. Think Lord Dildo has more obvious targets to seek redress from, but thanks for your concern as to my legal welfare

 

Surely if HMRC demand the money back it is found to be evasion. Like Take That and Jimmy Carr. No one is asking him nicely to hand it over, given he's appealing against it.