Off Topic The Sullivan & Gold Comedy Corner

West Scam failed with a January bid for Fiorentina/Croatia striker Nikola Kalinic, who is now set for a move to Tianjin Quanjian - presumably because Kalinic realised a move to China would be so much better for his career

 

For once that was probably an accurate assessment.......

 

I think the spammers saw the sky graphic for the players Wenger claimed the goons have tried to sign and thought they could try and get one created for them too!

 

Here's a list of every striker they failed to sign this season:
Alexandre Lacazette
Michy Batshuayi
Vincent Janssen
Nikola Kalinic
Jermain Defoe
Carlos Bacca
Callum Wilson
Loic Remy
Scott Hogan
Martin Braithwaite
Theo Walcott
Jese
Jordan Ayew

We can throw in Saint Etienne right back Kevin Malcuit, Lyon winger Rachid Ghezzal and Benfica winger Helder Costa - Costa in particular had to be embarassing, as he signed for Wolves instead!

 

I was wondering who the hell he is, thinking that I must've missed some lower league talent, somehow.
He's Danish and he plays in France! Can't think how I didn't figure that out from his name.

 

It's the list of clubs that have rejected them that tells the real story: it's one thing to be rejected by a club that is way about your status and thinks you're taking the piss (i.e. PSG, Arsenal) or for that matter a club clinging onto their top flight status (i.e. Sunderland), but when they're getting told to piss off by a club that just got relegated from the Premier League or a mid-table Championship club or, even more embarrassing, having a player choose to join a mid-table Championship club instead of you, that should tell you just how poor their standing is.

 

Their approach to signings just seems really amateurish, to me. There doesn't seem to be an overall plan.
Who's in charge of signing players and scouting?

 

Isn't it the bloke on the right?

 

Spammers have it so bad, their attempts to take the piss out of us get bitchslapped by Everton fans...

 

Not good enough for West Ham, Simone Zaza v Real Madrid:

Currently 2-1 up with about seven minutes remaining.

 

The spanners would hate that sort of thing

 

From Sky Sports:

CARROLL OFFERS REJECTED

West Ham have turned down three offers for Andy Carroll from Chinese Super League clubs, Sky sources understand.

Tianjin Quanjian, Hebei China Fortune and Shandong Luneng firmed up their interest with bids ahead of the Chinese transfer window closing on Tuesday, but West Ham have told them the striker is not for sale.

In just under 5 seasons, he has made 92 PL appearances. That's about half a season he's managed, season in and season out. His lack of appearances this season indicate things aren't getting any better as he nears 30. He's likely to be their top wage earner after Payet.....sorry, Snodgrass and given their generosity and our sponsorship of them, it means he is likely to be on about £4m a year, minimum.

I reckon that means that a transfer offer of...........erm..........in excess of 20p should make that a deal nobody in their right mind could say "No" to.

Three offers? Pull the other one. Cash free offers? That's more like it.

 

I heard that they wanted to put him in a soup. Great curative properties, due to all of the injuries he's had.

 

**** and Sour?

 

Contrary to previous reports and very much as any sane person would have expected..........The Spammers owners know a thing or two about sticking it to The Orient.


COULD CARROLL HAVE GONE?

Interesting line from The Times, who say West Ham gave an agent permission to try to sell Andy Carroll to a Chinese Super League club before the deadline last night.

It is reported that the Hammers wrote to agent Mark Curtis to give him "exclusive permission" to set up a deal.

While Carroll did not leave, it is reported that "the lengths West Ham went to to encourage suitors...raises doubts about his future at the club beyond the end of the season".

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/...year-award-shortlist-nomination-a7604576.html



I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

I assume there is a 'taxpayer ponceing white elephant' category in these awards, right.

 

Un-****ing-believable!!

 

Come on Dacia Stadium!!!

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Has anyone actually been to the ground. Forget the crap on the pitch (from the home team) - is it a good stadium. Facilities all good, views good? I wouldn't like being set so far back, but without actually going there, I couldn't comment. Genuinely interested in the views of away/neutral supporters.