Woops, hope you have your runners on. We need fast service with the collection plate. Kiwis bringing the Etfpos machine so l’m expecting a good tally by the end of the day.
Congregation running late. The reverend been stuck on the old thunder box. How much did we make on the plate? Did you did push the out of date biscuit?
Fantastic takings today, at least 20% more than last Sunday. I altered the best before date on the biscuits, and they sold out pretty quickly. A few of the congregation ended up on the old thunder box at the end of the service, but I think it was due to the biscuits rather than your lenghty sermon.......
Preacher Assistant Woops has done great job for the community and has been assured of at least .0001.5% of the takings, less Reverend Squats commission, of course!
This Sunday service is being held at the Big Woppa Nudist Camp. Clothes are optional but donations are not! If nothing else, bring your credit cards!
The natives are revolting, Didley. They have all ignored my emails requesting donations in advance of the service, so that we have more drinking time after
Woops, It’s a nudist camp. We don’t want any revolting people there. Only beautiful soles ...... ahhhh.