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Topical Football Jokes

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by Uber_Hoop, Jan 11, 2012.

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  1. 1982_Ranger

    1982_Ranger Well-Known Member

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    brilliant!
     
    #21
    1982_Ranger, Jan 11, 2012
  2. NorwayRanger

    NorwayRanger Well-Known Member

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    Thierry Henry returns to Arsenal's trophy room..."ahh, just as I left it"
     
    #22
    NorwayRanger, Jan 11, 2012
  3. rrrrrs

    rrrrrs Well-Known Member

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    Man City are missing a few things - ones a title, two's Kompany and threes a crowd!
     
    #23
    rrrrrs, Jan 11, 2012
  4. FFS.73

    FFS.73 Active Member

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    Just texted this one to a Gooner mate, got a shedload of abuse back. Excellent!
     
    #24
    FFS.73, Jan 11, 2012
  5. 1982_Ranger

    1982_Ranger Well-Known Member

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    john terry is standing in front of a mirror with an erection. his mrs walks past and says 'look, even your cock thinks you're a ****!'
     
    #25
    1982_Ranger, Jan 11, 2012
  6. NorwayRanger

    NorwayRanger Well-Known Member

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    Me too! Mine hasn't answered yet though...:emoticon-0116-evilg
     
    #26
    NorwayRanger, Jan 11, 2012
  7. rrrrrs

    rrrrrs Well-Known Member

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    Terry and Lampard talking in the pub. Lamps says 'John your a ****, youve always been a **** and you always will be a ****. Everything about you makes you a ****, an utter **** and a complete ****, In fact, if you entered a **** competition you'd come second' Terry says 'why wouldnt i come first?'
    Lamps replies 'because your a ****'
     
    #27
    rrrrrs, Jan 11, 2012
  8. Dave Thomas

    Dave Thomas Active Member

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    Done this one before

    John Terry in the bath with his mother

    Starring between her legs he asked

    " Mum what's that?"

    Red faced she replied

    " That's where you father got me with his chopper "

    " that's was a great shot right in the Cnut "
     
    #28
    Dave Thomas, Jan 11, 2012
  9. QPR999

    QPR999 Well-Known Member
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    I've not seen the Scousers get this excited over one leg since Paul McCartney married Heather Mills
     
    #29
    QPR999, Jan 12, 2012
  10. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't surprised to see Stewart Downing starting for Liverpool last night. It's the second line-up he's been in this week.
     
    #30
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 12, 2012

  11. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I saw The Iron Lady last night... it was rubbish - Tony Stark wasn't even in it.
     
    #31
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 12, 2012
  12. hammersmith hoopton

    hammersmith hoopton Active Member

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    A teacher informs the class they are doing famous quotations and asks who said "Kiss me Hardy?"quick as a flash a black kid puts his hand up and says Lord Nelson,battle of Tralalgar 1805.A white kid shouts out "You ****ing black ****",who said that asks the teacher?quick as a flash the white kid says John Terry,Loftus Road 2011!
     
    #32
    hammersmith hoopton, Jan 12, 2012
  13. CFC: Champs £launderx17

    CFC: Champs £launderx17 Captain Ahab

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    lol
     
    #33
    CFC: Champs £launderx17, Jan 12, 2012
  14. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I was in the toilet on the train yesterday, when there was a knock on the door. "Who is it?", I asked.

    "Tickets, please", came the response.

    "Not right now", I replied,"I'm having a ****!"

    "I don't believe you", said the collector,"pass it under the door."

    "OK", I said,"the yellow bits are sweetcorn".
     
    #34
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 12, 2012
  15. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Having had a £35M bid for Carlos Tevez rejected, I understand that Kenny Dalglish contacted Roberto Mancini and asked, "how much cash would it be if I threw in Andy Carroll?"

    "Still £35M", said Mancini.
     
    #35
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 30, 2012
  16. Sooperhoop

    Sooperhoop Well-Known Member

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    Refs have been issued with a new directive, any player passing to Andy Carroll to be booked for time-wasting...
     
    #36
    Sooperhoop, Jan 30, 2012
  17. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    The FA are to investigate the reasons for Wigan's crowd trouble. Or, more precisely, why they can't get one.
     
    #37
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 30, 2012
  18. Ranger74

    Ranger74 Well-Known Member

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    With the transfer deadline approaching Man Utd have tabled a £45 million bid for Wesley Sneijder.........but we're now hearing he's turned it down as he watches Eastenders on a Thursday.
     
    #38
    Ranger74, Jan 30, 2012
  19. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Can anyone help, please? My computer has caught the 'de Gea' virus and now it can't save anything.
     
    #39
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 31, 2012
  20. Martin*YouR's*

    Martin*YouR's* Member

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    Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall - so the referee booked him.
     
    #40
    Martin*YouR's*, Jan 31, 2012
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