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What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1981
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2021
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  2. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    <laugh>
     
    #1982
    Ron, Jun 3, 2021
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1983
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2021
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air. "Hold on a minute!" said the Pope, You can't do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church!". "This is my lottery win", said the photographer, "I'll be financially secure for life with these photos!" So, the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer, and after much negotiation, they eventually settled on a figure of $2,000,000. The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways, he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff, she noticed the camera and said, "That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?" Not being one to lie, the Pope replied, "Two million Dollars.." "TWO MILLION Dollars!" replied the housekeeper, they must have seen you coming!!!!!
     
    #1984
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1985
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1986
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
    A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
    The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him.
    They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
    "That's correct", said the boss.
    Another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."
    "Correct." The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
    She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
    "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!"
    The boss collapsed....
     
    #1987
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 4, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1988
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1989
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2021
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1990
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1991
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 5, 2021
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1992
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2021
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1993
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2021
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1994
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2021
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    When I was a little boy, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised, the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
     
    #1995
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1996
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1997
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1998
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1999
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2021
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Had to return one of the herbs I had delivered. Mint was in great condition but the basil was faulty
     
    #2000
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 8, 2021
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